My sister came out to our mom and me a few months ago telling us that she is transgender and would like to be a guy. I have no problem with this and am in full support ( I even helped her pick out new clothes) However I am having issues getting to used to addressing her as a him. I feel like it might be easier after the transformation but I was mostly wondering if anyone could offer me some help or pointers on how to remember to use the proper terms.
I'm not sure if it would help because I've never done it myself, but you could try asking him to address you with the wrong pronouns for a day or two. Then, it could show him to have patience since he will probably mess it up a bit, and it will show you what it feels like to me misgendered constantly. Maybe even getting him to explain to you what exactly it feels like to be called by female pronouns all of the time might help. Let us know how it goes, and welcome to EC!
Thank you and he understands that it will take me a while to get used to it it's really me who's annoyed at myself for not being able to do it right
It takes time. Try to caught yourself when you are about to using feminine terms. Or if you say she, try to say he right after. It will be difficult but after a while it will get easier. Also, try to think of him as your brother not your sister. The more you think about him as male the more you will see him as male. Just keep trying and you will eventually get it.
One thing you might want to do is ask him how he feels when people misgender him. I asked a trans* friend of mine that recently and it made me a lot more aware of the importance of using the correct pronouns for him.
This, so much. It really does take time. I've been dating a transwoman for over 15 months and I've accidentally referred to her with the wrong pronouns, or by her male name.:eusa_doh:... But give it time. Be open to polite corrections.
Seconded. I came out to my sister months ago, and she's still having quite a bit of trouble with it. She called me her brother a couple times but then told me it feels weird to do so, which I can understand. I'm glad you're helping him pick out clothes. He's very lucky to have you since you're being so supportive. I wish you and him the best of luck. Welcome to EC, and it's very considerate of you to go to the effort to acknowledge him for who he is.
Both of my brothers slipped up quite a bit when I first came out, and I don't blame them. They knew me as their little sister for 17 years, so of course it was difficult for them to switch and begin using the right pronouns, and start viewing me as their brother. It's great to see that you're very considerate of acknowledging and addressing your brother for who he is, and it does take time, don't become too frustrated over slipping up. The more you view him as a male, and practice addressing him by the correct pronouns, the more it becomes habit (as it did for my brothers too, even though they still slip up every once in a while, but it's not their fault!). The more you talk with him about it, and help him throughout his transition (even socially, such as picking out clothes), the more it reinforces you to use the correct terms and genuinely see him as a guy. Give it time, and best of luck. It's great to see supportive family members, especially ones who are willing to correct themselves and make an effort.
