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Realizing my aunt is asexual

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by PurpleGrey, Feb 27, 2014.

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  1. PurpleGrey

    PurpleGrey
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    Ha, I never thought I'd be posting a thread here, but look!

    Anyway, it seems so obvious now, but I've realized that my aunt is asexual. Heteromantic asexual to be exact.

    Now, she will never come out, because a: she doesn't know about asexuality or the asexual community, and b: she's pretty open about her lack of sexual interest.

    I'm thinking of anonymously sending her a link to a support site, but that's just an impulse. I don't know if she'd need want or use such a site. (Anonymously because I don't want any contact with my grandma, and the two are very close.)

    Anyway, what do you think I should do? Should I do something or leave it alone? P.S., she's a very holier-than-thou type, so I don't know if she'd accept other romantic orientations in the community. Then again, it might help her be more accepting of people in general... I dunno.
     
    #1 PurpleGrey, Feb 27, 2014
  2. apostrophied

    apostrophied
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    Ehhh, honestly, assuming she isn't in great distress over her sexuality or lack of thereof, I'd let it be. It might freak her out to get an anonymous message about such a personal matter.

    If it ain't broke, don't fix it, they say.
     
    #2 apostrophied, Feb 27, 2014
  3. purpletide

    purpletide Guest

    Being asexual is a very odd thing but I think that people who are don't feel like they are missing out because the urges are not there. I think they feel safe staying away from relationships because of it.

    Has she ever been in a relationship? What if she's just afraid of the responsibility or the things she has to live up to in order to be in a relationship?
     
    #3 purpletide, Feb 27, 2014
  4. uniqueusername3

    uniqueusername3 Guest

    Bad Idea!!! Please don't do this.

    I'm sure she's had enough flak over the years and pressure to get married etc - She's probably come to her own undersatnading of her sexuality and is comfortable with it - she really doesn't need someone (especially family) "diagnosing" her sexuality.

    Also, If it's anonymous she'll probably find it really creepy.

    Please don't do it!
     
    #4 uniqueusername3, Feb 27, 2014
  5. Ettina

    Ettina
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    If you do want to send her anonymous information about asexuality, send her a link to a news article about it. A lot of people send random acquaintances news articles without the expectation that they'll find them personally relevant.
     
    #5 Ettina, Feb 27, 2014
  6. Chip

    Chip
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    Devil's advocate: How do you know she's asexual? She may simply have no interest in relationships or sex and be perfectly happy where she is, without a label that is controversial and not always helpful. There are plenty of people who simply have low sex drive or limited interest in sex who don't label themselves as asexual (probably because, in most cases, they aren't.)

    This is a place where I'd leave well enough alone. I think if you did send her something, anonymous or not, especially if she doesn't normally get such things, she'd probably figure out someone was trying to define her in a way she may not want to be defined.
     
    #6 Chip, Feb 27, 2014
  7. PurpleGrey

    PurpleGrey
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    Well, I feel oblivious! Shoulda figured meddling would be bad. So, I'll let it alone. Thanks evvies, for the advice. :slight_smile:
     
    #7 PurpleGrey, Feb 27, 2014
  8. awwsum1

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    (I know this thread is old, but I have to say it: PurpleGrey said that her aunt was heteroromantic, so she would probably still be interested in (sexless) relationships.)
     
    #8 awwsum1, Jul 26, 2014
  9. asdfghjk

    asdfghjk Guest

    but the conclusion was that she isnt her aunt so we will never know and trying to diagnose someones sexuality like an armchair psychologist with a wiki page pulled up is kind of weird and maybe even offensive
     
    #9 asdfghjk, Jul 26, 2014
  10. PurpleGrey

    PurpleGrey
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    Huh. I didn't even realize. In retrospect, it's sorta obvious.
     
    #10 PurpleGrey, Jul 27, 2014
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