Parents: please don't assume sexual orientation

I agree. Being a parent myself, I think one of the most important aspects of being a good parent is making your children feel that they can comfortably come to you about anything and you will be informative, understanding and supportive on the issue.

To that end, I think a good parent should also keep themselves well educated on such issues so they can offer sound advice and support their children when they come to you.

That's at least what I try to do anyway...

Happy days

 

+1
I totally agree! Even non-homophobic parents do that, because hetero relationships are what they're used to seeing in everyday life...

 

Sadly, I feel it is inevitable the parents make certain assumptions about their kids. The vast majority of parents will always be straight and try to pass on their *truth* about life, what has bought them happiness etc. I think straight parents will *always* struggle to come to terms with the fact the their children are not like them. Best we can do as a society is to promote a solid vision of what a normal, Happy, healthy gay relationship looks like, so lgbt kids have role models to help them out the closet quicker & when they do come out their parents dreams aren't shattered, only modified.

 

Chip makes some very important points!

 

I can fully validate what Linco has said with first-hand experience.

I have an amazing mum. All throughout my growing up, whenever relationships, sexuality or LGBT topics came up, she was ALWAYS of a completely neutral stance. She always ensured me that whatever I chose to do with my life was ok and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being LGBT.

I didn't really take notice or think about these things until recently, when I realised I wasn't straight. And I can say now that remembering her accepting stance put my mind at ease and saved me a LOT of emotional trauma that other teenagers have to deal with.

I know my mother will accept me; I think I would have probably gone down a very dark and lonely path without that knowledge.

Please show your children that you will love them for who they are.

 

Linco, you are my new favourite person.

 

YES! I second everything Linco typed out above. Realizing that I was gay was by far the most painful event in my life, and coming out and telling others that you are gay is one of the most awkward and uncomfortable experiences that, frankly, no one should ever have to go through.

Parents, please, I know it might be a hard concept to wrap your head around, but you will save your children from years of pain and suffering.

 

Or wait and see which gender your child likes too can come in handy

 

I think even more important besides assuming, is when and if your child comes out as gay DON'T tell them It's a phase or question them.

 

Omg, love you for posting this!

 

I can say from experience that this makes a huge difference.
Growing up, my father would always say, "Someday you will bring home a girlfriend, or boyfriend, and we'll have dinner together."

Knowing from the time I was five-years old that my parents were accepting and open to the idea of me being homosexual really made coming out to them easy. It was so easy.

 

Oh man I'd kill for my parents to say something like that. You're a lucky guy.

 

I was expected to be straight, I'm sure, because they were pretty disappointed with me being... Well.... Not...

I hate discussing my sexuality with my parents because they always always ALWAYS talk about how its a phase. They never trust me when I say, "No I'm pretty sure I would be in a relationship with anyone, regardless of gender."

 

I completely agree... And if there is one thing I entirely ABHOR is when my mother or father say "When you are married..." or "Your wife and kids..."

~.•

 

Ugh, absolutely. It seems like my mom's favorite thing to say to me is "When are you going to get a wife?" Drives me absolutely insane.

 

I guess a lot of people assume that their kids will be straight because, that's what the majority of people are. I think, at least to some people, the idea that their kid may be LGBT doesn't even occur to them until their kid tells them. At least, that happens where I live. The thought doesn't even enter most parents' heads as a serious possibility.

But I think parents being openly accepting of the LGBT community does make a big difference to someone coming out and all parents obviously should be.

 

I think as kids who later discover they are gay, also think, like their parents, that they will be straight. Kids usually grow up being only exposed to heterosexual couplings. I was totally surprised when I realized I had a crush on a girl.

 

I totally agree with this! Actually, the main reason I came out to my mom was because I was sick of her assuming I like guys. "Someday, you'll have a husband..." "You have a crush? Who is he?" "Don't you think he's cute?" "You like him, don't you!? You're always around him!" Seriously, if my mom hadn't been like I wouldn't've been so worried about her reaction... If/when I have kids, I'm definitely going to avoid saying anything like that. Straight isn't the 'default' sexuality, people!