My brave son just came out.

Great. Kudos to you and your family.

It's been said that mothers sense those kind of things in their children and it might feel right to you... like all stones settled in their places.

(*hug*)

 

I'm going to start by saying how wonderful it is to read such a positive reaction to your sons coming out. It's always lovely to hear a parent who takes the news well and wants to be as supportive as possible!

The thing is should I tell his siblings who are ages 10 to 14 and at a very cheeky age

Nooooooo...not unless he EXPLICITLY asks you to do so.

What you need to 'do next' is going to depend on your son. Keep in mind, that this isn't your news to spread around, you know? Until HE tells you he is comfortable with other people knowing about it, you didn't ought to be telling anybody! (I know you told your husband, don't worry about that TOO much right now).

Ask your son what he wants to do. He might want you to tell other people for him, or keep it quiet for a while, he might want to tell them himself, or with you around for moral support.

Basically just ask HIM what he is comfortable with and work from there

 

First off, you are a great mum! I wish all parents were like you~

I really think its up to him whether his siblings know, people can feel betrayedif they are outed to people they dont want to be, so ask him whether he wants them to know, if so then tell them but if not then pleaase stay queit as like i said, it hurts to be outed if you domt want to.

Also if you are scared that his siblings will hurt his feeling then sit them all down and tell them that it is perfectly normal and people shouldnt be bullied for it.

I hope it goes well, you are a super mum ^.^

 

it's a cruel world .

Yeah, it is. Now take a moment to realise just how much nicer it is for your son knowing that so far, all his family love and support him completely...

 

I would let him progress at his own pace. It sounds like he already had a plan when he came and spoke to you about it. As ElliaOtaku said, this isn't your news, it is his. I know you want to support him and talk about it, but let him do so at his own pace. Though it sounds like it won't be long before lots of people know. Some of us come out more quickly than others.

You are always welcome to ask questions here, there are some terrific people here and you will get a good variety of advice depending on the question.

I would certainly still have the safety/internet talk with him given his age. There is no reason to differentiate between gay and straight kids in terms of protecting their safety, especially online and in real life.

Congrats on being such a great parent. Give him a hug from all of us. (&&&)

 

your a great Mom.

 

As has already been said, no, leave the choice to come out to his siblings up to him. If he asks you to tell them, fine, but not until then.


But let me just thank you wholeheartedly for being such an awesome mom. (*hug*)

 

Wow! I wish my mother were like you!

 

Thank you for all the awesome mom comments but I'm just a mom.

Yes, yes you are. You are just doing what any loving mother should do. Which should give you some idea of where we are coming from. We all know so many people in your sons position who don't, and will never get that kind of acceptance from their families, which is why we are all so happy to hear about it when it DOES happen. You may be 'just a mom' but in our world, you're doing a very good job.

I was a teen once and I had mixed feeling and I've tried to remember the things I was feeling (it doesn't feel that long ago) I understand he is still very young and he is 15 in 3 days so although young I think he is mature enough to start finding himself.

You would be AMAZED how many people forget to do this.

I hope I'm welcome her even though I'm straight I have an idea I myself may need some support or advice in time this is my first experience of been a mom to a child who has decided he is bi /gay he is not completely sure which he has just told me but for now he likes boys .

We welcome everyone who comes here for a genuine reason, and yours is as genuine as any other.

Your son is, if you'll excuse the expression "One of us!", part of the LGBT community, and we want to know that he is supported, and we'll definitely help you all we can!

I hope I do this right I don't want him upset in any way.

There are some rules you can go by that should make your life a bit easier when dealing with it.

1. When asking questions, imagine your parents had asked it to you. How would you feel?

So, for example, one thing we hear a lot is parents getting really hung up on sexual positions and things like that. Things that would mortify you if your parents asked you, but some people seem to think that because it's GAY sex they are talking about those things don't count!

2. Don't assume you know how he feels about things.

Just like you would with any of your other children. You might have some idea, but ultimately you know that the only person who knows your son completely, is your son!

3. If he doesn't want to talk about something and/or seems uncomfortable, ask yourself WHY!

Some things make kids uncomfortable. The 'safe sex' talk is uncomfortable, but necessary, asking who he finds attractive, can be uncomfortable, but OK once in a while won't hurt him as long as you back off if he doesn't answer, asking if he's a 'top or a bottom' is uncomfortable and WAAAAAY inappropriate. You see what I mean?

Hope that helps!

 

If you ever suspect your other children are making fun of him, just tell them to think about how much that could be hurting their brother, and why would they be mean to him about something he has no control over? If they persist, just punish them like you would if they made fun of their other siblings for any other reason.

As for the "what now?" question. I would say no where different than if your son had told you he was straight or gay. Nothing has changed since the day before except for the fact that he told you who he is attracted to. Just constantly remind him you love him no matter what, but I don't see why anything else has to change from before he came out.

 

This is the single most important bit of advice you will ever get!

 

I think he is glad I know he seems happy as hell!

One thing a lot of people don't seem to realise is that even if you are coming out to the most accepting people in the world, it can still be one of the scariest moments of your life! Even if you think your parents will accept you, there is always the chance they will panic, or say horrible things without thinking, and it really is scary.

I'm not surprised he's happy

 

It looks like the last post might have gotten lost. I would post again....

 

Congratulations, and I hope for all the best for you and your family.

 

Hi Bmx93, Im a mom too. Our son came out this last Sept, he is 18 yrs old. Right at first we wondered about how this will change things... we found out it really doesnt change anything at all. I try to think of it in a simple way,I was born straight and my son was born gay...no big deal. I could of been born lesbian instead of straight. It sounds like you are doing just fine. All of my sons friends excepted that hes gay just fine. I think part of it is because he waited to come out, I think he has known for about 2 yrs but that's all I know. He hasnt talked to me about (why) he didnt say anything sooner. I just figured he did it in his own time and that's the way it was suppose to be. Hope you stick around.