How to deal with gossip about gay son

Well, it ticks me off because it just isnt true. My son hasnt asked anyone out, hes not ready for that plus he wouldnt ask a straight friend or anyone one out that he knew was straight thats ridiculous

How do you know this?

 

I know you have yours son's best interests at heart, but try to resist the urge to protect him at every turn. I know the momma bear thing tends to kick in and people better behave. But he will need to learn to deal with people like this on his own. But truthfully it sounds like he is doing just fine.

I am not trying to discourage you, but rather help him build the tools so he can deal with it on his own when he needs to... Gosh that came off kinda bossy, I don't mean it that way.... Hopefully you understand what I am trying to get at...

 

Hey Turtlemom

Glad you talked with your son. That is always my first bit of advice. Talking things out openly and honestly seems to work the best. It is when someone holds back, refuses to listen, or fails to accept another's right to a differing opinion that things get really messed up.

Good luck to you and your son

 

lets look at the facts here.

what good is going to come out of of telling your son this....

for starters we know the other kids has some mental issues and says whatever comes to his mind. he can't help himself as the meds have messed with his reality. he probably doesn't even remember what he said. so what is the point of telling your son this? What is that going to do to your son but either tick him off or send him over the edge. maybe this will lead to some type of confrontation between the kids. that would not be good or healthy, especially since the so-called gossiping kid isnt even in contact with your son. the truth of the matter is that people are talking about your son, people are talking about the kid with teh mental issues, people are talking about everyone (young or old). you wont be able to quiet the gossipers so why bother. your son doesn't even see or talk to this kid in years, so why dredge of drama. now if the mentally challenged kid keeps spouting off at the mouth, maybe you need to have a talk with his mother if you know her. but i really do not see what good this will do for your son. if anything i would tell my son that there are some really stupid people out there that have nothing better to do than to gossip about gays and he will encounter that in his llife and he woudl have encountered that if he was straight. i would also tell him that gossip is like fire. the more you fan it, the larger the flames get.

 

I know this has been resolved, but I read your post and had to post. I also have Aspergers. I completely understand what your son is going through. I wanted to let you know you are more than welcome to come to me via wall or personal message if you ever have any questions.

That being said, you said your son goes a few days without saying anything, has he ever been more social? I ask because at his age I had gotten to a point of having more than one conversation a day. I hope you dont think I am interfering or stepping out of bounds, but would you like him to be more social? There are ways. For instance, set up a camera on a tripod, and record you and him having a conversation. Then play it back and watch it with him. Point out areas where you were giving him social cues that he missed. Tell him what you were feeling at the time. The idea being the more social cues and emotional facial features you can show him, the more he will know how to handle. He most likely doesnt have the ability to pick up on a new social cue, so you show him as many as possible, so when he has a real conversation he knows wht social cues look like. Even without the camera, practicing is the only thing that helped me. He may never learn to understand these things, I never did. HOWEVER by learning to imitate them, which is possible, he can lead a far more happy and productive life in the future.

Like I said, I dont mean to stick my nose where it doesnt belong so to speak, but I just know how hard it is to have aspbergers. I feel very strongly that it is the cause of me taking so long to realize I was bi. I dont know which has impacted my life more, Aspbergers or my sexuality. Please dont be offended by my spitting out advice. I am really glad you spoke to your son (as I would have suggested) and I wish you and your son the most happiness possible. PLEASE feel free to message me or post on my wall if I can be of any assistance.

---------- Post added 10th Jul 2014 at 03:39 PM ----------

I just wanted to add, I say he could live a more happy and productive life in the future, because looking back at what my life was like before I could navigate social interactions compared to now. Hell there is no comparison. It makes you feel "normal" which is something I never felt before I learned. Well, I suppose in reality it was what I percieve feeling normal feels like, but regardless it was a euphoric ecstasy like feeling.

Also, if you have him practice, make sure you dont do too much, that shit is exhausting. EXTREMELY exhausting.

Anyways, Thats all I wanted to add