My child has told me he is gay- but he is so young!

Hi all, I've been a member for a few weeks here, as I've been coming to terms with the fact I am a lesbian. So naturally I have been a little preoccupied with this lately, and thinking about it a lot.

So, I was shocked yesterday morning, when I opened the laptop to my 7 year old sons writing from the night before. (He likes to write stuff on word) it simply said his name, the date, and "I am gay". I was completely taken aback, and thought maybe it was a mistake. I saved the file and left it until he got home from school.

After he'd gotten home and had a snack, I asked if we could please have a little chat, and I casually mentioned his note, and asked him if he wrote that. "Yeah, I wrote it" he said. I asked how come he wrote I am gay. "Because I am!" he replied. I asked if he knew what gay meant. "Yeah, it's when boys want to marry other boys, and they want to kiss boys, and have a boyfriend". I gave him a big hug and said that he was perfect to me and I was happy with anything he chooses, and told him I loved him. He seemed very matter of fact about it, and I spoke to his Dad later, who in turn sat down with him and asked about the note too. He got a similar response to myself, and his Dad said he seemed quite sure about being gay.

The thing is, he's almost 8, he is very young. He has told us since he was 3 that he was going to marry a boy though. He has never shown interest in girls, and can be quite effeminate but he's a kid, so of course I wouldn't put that down to anything. I am happy to not read too much into it, given his age, and I must admit, I am not surprised at all. I just didn't expect it until he was a bit older.

I guess I just want to know if it's possible for him to know so early? Either way, if wants to be with a boy or girl when he's at dating age (45 in my house :icon_wink ) it's fine with me, but I want to be as supportive as I can.

Thanks for reading everyone

 

Thanks for the insight everyone. Just to clarify though, I'm not surprised at the news but didn't think he was gay when was 3 he's just always said he wants marry a boy.
I think I'm going to take it with a grain of salt as he is so young, there is plenty of time for him to change his mind if he wishes. Either way is fine with me
To he honest if he is gay, I'm so proud of him for knowing at a young age, rather than going through life feeling like he cannot be himself.

 

Hey thanks SO much everyone for the astounding advice and support! Seriously you all rock. I'm just going to let him do his thing and see how he feels as he ages- it may he a phase, it may not be! I guess time is the only thing here.

Chip you know it's funny you mention the sense of loss, in a way. I've just recently started coming out myself (my son has no idea and never would have heard me speaking about myself to anyone- It did cross my mind that he may have overheard me, but impossible) and I was shocked. I think it's more the acceptance factor. I accept him however he is, but I do worry that his school years will be hard for him if he is "out", because let's face it, kids can be horrific and cruel. I think that's my only fear. The loss of a "normal" childhood. I don't want him to have a difficult life or to ever feel like he is not ok as he is. He has an older brother, my son who's 11, and he is definitely not gay. I've never heard him express those feelings or even say he wanted to marry a boy. The differences between him and my youngest son are extremely noticeable. Whereas my eldest has a (growing,uh oh!) interest in girls, just the normal school crushes, my youngest has always been, and still is adamant that he likes boys.

It's really a tough one. I'm afraid of putting too many expectations on him, I don't want to be the overly enthusiastic PFLAG Mum haha.

And I "may" consider letting him date in his 30s. We'll see

Edited just to add too, that I really do feel lucky to have such a brave little guy as a son. I doubt my parenting immensely at times but the fact he feels so comfortable with expressing who he is just makes my heart sing.

 

Hey everyone when I log in it says this thread has been moved?? Where did it go??

--nevermind, found it, although I wish someone told me it was moving lol!

 

I just wanted to say thanks so much to everyone who's given advice so far, very one is just amazingly supportive here. It makes the world of difference to be able to talk to understanding, normal people, as opposed to those who would probably be horrified if I discussed what my son told me.
And thank you to everyone for your compliments on my parenting too. I wish you all knew how much that means- I strive so hard to make sure I'm raising my kids right, to be confident self assured little people, and it's obviously working. I honestly feel heart broken reading stories of younger people coming out and being shunned by their families. I don't comprehend it. Life is so short. It's there and then it isn't, and I feel that who someone decides to love or be attracted to should be the very least of anyone's concerns.
I genuinely just want my son to be happy and journey through life as smoothly as possible, and as the person who brought him into the world, it's my responsibility, my priviledge actually, to support him no matter what.

Anyways sorry for the rambling lol!!