9 1/2 year old daughter.

You sound like a wonderful mom. You are doing the right things. Keep doing what you are doing, be there for herr and help her figure things out if that's what she wants.

 

I'm no adult, but it sounds like you're doing ALL the right things. You seem like a great mother.

 

It seems like you are doing all the right things. Is your child trans? That's my only question. Because you are saying your daughter "wants to be a boy", does that mean that you should be using he pronouns?

 

That's what I'm wondering...

 

It sounds like you are doing everything right to me. The most concerning thing to me is how your daughter feels like going to sleep and never waking up. Have you contacted your nearest PFLAG yet???? Hopefully there, there will be others like her or have children like her that she could meet in person.....that would be awesome for her.

 

It sounds like you're doing everything right, to me. I was once a nine year old boy, in your child's precise position, trying to find a way to be a boy at school and so forth. Except I didn't have my parents' support. I just have one suggestion: Is there any way you could move schools? Perhaps not immediately, as it must be said that children change a lot. But perhaps in a year, once your son has shown he's happy in a male role, it would be good for him to be somewhere people don't know his past. I know how much that would have meant to me.

 

Ah, I understand the difficulty, then. I suppose the fact that it's a good school makes it a harder decision to leave, and I'm not saying it's definitely necessary. But please pay close attention to your son's state of mind, and if things go too far, you might have to make the decision.

I was about nine when I transitioned for the first time at school. It was a very bad school, so bad, in fact, that I was put two years ahead in order to be properly challenged. I also didn't have my parent's support. I have no wish to speak with them about it, but as far as I can tell, they basically informed the teachers that under no circumstances was I to be treated as a boy. The teachers then asked the kids not to, which was interpreted as bullying me. I was eventually sent back into the closet. This year at school effectively begun a depression I never really got over until I was 14-15, when I started delving into my gender identity again, and was able to understand the root of my problems. I suspect I'd still have had a hard time if I'd never tried to transition at 9, but regardless, it was an extremely difficult time.

My point is this: Don't let that happen. The particulars of the situation your son is in may be different to mine, but it still reminds me of what I went through. He'll be able to get through a certain amount of teasing, but not too much. It might help to educate the children on trans issues, they can be surprisingly willing to learn, sometimes. Having a friend also helps - I take it she's aware of the change?

As for your family, my extended family didn't react too well when I was young. If I recall, they attempted to pay me to change back, something I refused. Honestly, you won't have too many options other than persistence and attempts to encourage empathy on their part. These days, I'm much closer to my grandmother than I ever was. A rather sneaky, but possibly effective way to do it is to discuss your son's troubles with your father, and try to engender his sympathy. Once he's worried for your son's wellbeing, then present him with the only possible solution: transition. I think he'd be more likely to accept it then.

 

Keep it up. The world needs more parents like you.

I'm going to echo Hexagon's suggestion; perhaps move him to a new school (as good a school as possible, with the most open reputation you can find). Starting fresh, with people who won't deliberately misgender him, and the ability to be stealth about his gender. Would it be possible to change school when he reaches high school, or does his school continue all the way through?

 

Your not screwing up your child, and as for the issue of family, I have had similar problems. How exactly does the family your concerned about react to the lgbt community? And EC is a great plaace for ears and helpful advise anytime "There aren't a lot of people I can ask about this"

 

World needs more mothers/parents like you who can let their children explore themselves without putting barriers or shame on them. Society do that enough already. I think it is very important for any child to know they have a safe port to stop when this ugly world tires them.

(*hug*)

 

<3 This <3 All true (*hug*) great mother

 

Hiya,
You sound like a cool mother. I don't have kids but if I did I would send them to something like karate classes to boost their self confidence and to exude a "don't mess with me" vibe. Do you have a community centre or Y nearby where your kid and his little friend could take some sort of martial arts or self defence classes?

 

You sound like a great mom. Protect your little boy and send him into the best environment that you can. If that is his current school, do your best to make sure that he is safe and protected. Good luck!