11 yr old son told me he is gay

You should just leave it to him with coming out at school. I think what would be best is to just let him see the crowd he's in and if he's comfortable with it then ya he could.

 

I would leave it up to him. It's his decision.
Maybe he'll make some really good friends he can trust.

 

You're a great mom.

I would let him come out in his own time, but be prepared
for some kids to be seriously cruel. He will need you a lot during the next several years.

 

I would agree with that. He'll probably be able to sense whether or not it's a good idea to come out, that's what I do anyway. It's great you're so supportive of him! Good luck to him and to you! ride:

 

Wow he has a great mom....

 

I think it would be worth looking into a Gay Straight Alliance group at school.

The high schools here have them, not completely sure about middle school.

That seems pretty brave of him. I waited until 14 to tell my mother.

 

If it was me, I would leave the decision to come out there on his own. He has to be the one to decide if it's right or not. Just be there for him when he does do it, whether or not its a good or bad reaction. he'll need your support either way

 

I only wish my own mother had been so supportive of me when I was his age.

I agree with the others; The decision to come out to everyone is his and his alone. Be there for him if he does. I would encourage him to have the bravery to do so, but that's something he has to decide on his own.

You'll be the rock on which he stands. Bravo, madam.

 

Hi hismamma,
my dad, while I was growing up, made jokes too, but they were not malicious, they were more in fun. It is possible that his dad isn't doing it to be hurtful. I know mine was not. What did hurt me, was not his joking around about gay folk, but when I joked that I might actually be gay...the expression on his face of disgust is what hurt me, not his joking around previously. It seems that, he was, deep down, fine with other people being gay, just not his son...Just thought I would say, do you know for sure that his bio dad really is against gays, or, like lots of other straight people, just finds it 'funny' (which I agree is not ideal, but is not as bad as actually putting them down in a mean way)? Have you ever spoken with his bio dad, about this issue? He might not be as homophobic as you think. If he really loves his son, he might be able to accept his son's sexuality. In my case, I was joking about it to sort of 'test' my dad's reaction, and his reaction was not good, and yes it did hurt me...but as I said, your ex-husband might not be as homophobic as you think, maybe. Just thought I would relate all of that. Because if his bio dad could be more sensitive about it, and be educated about it, it could make a really huge difference to your son. It would have for me. Because like it or not, there isn't really a substitute for one's actual bio father. I still think about mine, although he has been dead for some years. I still feel his presence sometimes. If you could somehow make his bio dad see that it was not right to joke about gays, that it was hurtful to his son, and to be more respectful from now on, as I said, what a difference that could make.

Finally, I want to say how great it is, that he has such a supportive mother, well done on that, you are an inspiration!

Damien.

 

Aww you sound like an amazing mum! He's lucky to have you! I'd let him come out in his own way at his own pace, tell him it's his choice.

You're awesome!

 

You're a really good parent! I think you should let him make his own decisions, but check in on him from time to time. Remember that how he acts and what he does is still a reflection of you, regardless of sexual orientation.

 

You're a fantastic mom I wish I could have came out at that age, my mom still doesn't know. You should definetly leave the decisiion to come out to him but you should also discuss how mean people can be with him. And if he does decide to come out even though violence isn't a good solution you need to make sure he can defend himself. Just tell him he shouldn't be running around picking fights but if someone hits him he needs to defend himself. Just cause you're gay doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to fight

 

Just going to echo the others and say youre an amazing mom. (*hug*)

 

I wish I had a mom like you that boy is so lucky
and like the others said you should leave it up to him on wither to come out or not .

 

Wow, I got a little choked up reading that. Everyone is right, you really deserve a lot of credit for how great and supportive you are. I wish my mom was a fraction as supportive as you. I cant stress this enough, you should feel as proud of yourself as you do your son.

I also agree about letting him decide. I might tell him that while it is his decision, you think he might wait a week or so to determine the atmosphere, but that ultimately it is his choice.

Enroll him in self defense if your really concerned.

 

I encouraged my son to do what he felt comfortable with, but also told him I feel he should never have to hide or be ashamed of who he is. So, he told his classmates, friends and me...and he has withheld the information from his dad. (who has made negative remarks years back as well) He told his friends and siblings but refuses to tell dad until he leaves for college. I respect his choices. That said, I have been fearful of hate and have worried about remarks, attitudes and hurtful things. I told him that he has a lot of guts I admire him...and it took a lot of bravery, as we live in a small rural town in the Midwest. But I also feel he can be a positive role model for younger kids at school, since he is now a Senior. Let your son choose, support him, and make him proud of who he is! Also, in a larger city by us, the homecoming king this fall was openly gay, a very popular boy, and his sexual preferences werent an issue! Thank god times are changing!