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Dating a newly gay mom, how to tell her kids

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by Amannino87, Jul 27, 2014.

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  1. Amannino87

    Amannino87
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Philadelphia pa
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So I am new to this site and I'm just looking for some advice. My girlfriend is a single mom, of two children, one is 12 and the other is 6. They do not know that she is gay but she wants to tell them just not sure how to break the news or when the right time is. She is Christian and believes in god but also believes that her happiness with this new found identity isn't a sin, but her kids go to youth groups with the church and are taught the ways of the bible. We are scared to tell them because she doesn't want to lose their trust or have them hate her. How do we go about this? Would love to hear from other parents that have gone through the same type of scenario and what their outcomes have been. I hate being on the sideline and "non existent" when it comes to family functions. Hope to hear from anyone soon! Thanks!
     
    #1 Amannino87, Jul 27, 2014
  2. mangotree

    mangotree
    Full Member

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    Location:
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    I'm not a parent or a child of a gay parent so I can't really give advice. I hope you find the information that you're looking for though.
    I've found that most children are generally more accepting than adults, even christian children. My 3 nephews all go to a religious school, and they've had no problems with me or my past partners.
    I went to christian youth groups for a couple of years in my late teens and I can't remember ever hearing anything to do with sex or sexuality there, so there's a chance that maybe the children haven't received any of that kind of conditioning.

    Good luck!
     
    #2 mangotree, Jul 28, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2014
  3. uniqueusername3

    uniqueusername3 Guest

    A lot of the time kids take their cues on how to act/react from their parents. If you can try not to see it as a big deal, then they hopefully won't either. A lot will depend on if they have a relationship with their father(s?) - if so, then it's definitely worth trying to agree a script with him before approaching the kids with it, if that's possible. Avoids mixed messages & all that.

    In terms of dealing with religious issues / contradictions - I would persoannly just try to brush it off when it comes up - "some people have silly ideas that women can't love other women, but everyone's different" etc.

    Anyway, so long as your relationship is long-term, you're better off dealing with it sooner rather than later IMO.

    Good luck!
     
    #3 uniqueusername3, Jul 28, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2014
  4. Amannino87

    Amannino87
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    Philadelphia pa
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thank you everyone! The dad is a complete jerk. Totally blames my gf for the divorce, when he was the one that was a dead beat and didn't even work or try and help out with anything. The father will be furious, he treats her horribly now, and talks negatively around they kids about her. Any ideas on that?
     
    #4 Amannino87, Jul 28, 2014
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