11 year old daughter came out

I love seeing positivity like this from parents. I can only hope that my mom will be as accepting as you are for your daughter I'd also like to commend you for not dismissing her orientation because she's young. I expected negativity when I opened this thread, but you've given me nothing but hope. Thanks for posting this!

The world is full of hatred and nastiness, and it's understandable that all parents would want to protect their children from these things. Unfortunately, this is impossible. If your daughter is of a visible minority, you would have to worry about her facing racism. If she was shy, you would worry about her not making friends. Even being a woman can make you worry that she will face discrimination. Being gay is the same. And, like with these other examples, you won't be able to totally protect her from prejudice and discrimination. As her Mother, you can only provide the most supportive and nurturing environment as you possibly can, and teach your daughter that what she is experiencing is normal and okay. These lessons in self love and acceptance will be priceless to her as she grows older. It sounds like you're doing a great job of this already

Thankfully, I think the world is slowly learning to be more accepting and friendly, especially towards LGBTQ people. I started dating my girlfriend in my senior year of high school, and we were out to almost everyone in school. We didn't hear a single nasty comment. Most people were completely supportive towards us. I know that there were probably people talking about us and judging us, but this is unfortunately the nature of being a teenager. I'm not sure what things are like where you live, but things are getting better and I hope your daughter is blessed with a similar experience.

Once again, thank you so much for posting this. I wish you and your family the best, you truly deserve it.

 

I wish every parent was like this. Kudos to you!

 

You are awesome.

 

You're awesome E11Mum
Total legend.

 

More mothers should be like you, wish my mother was like this.

 

You're great! By the sound of it you've pretty much already done the hard work -kids with parents like you barely have a closet to climb out of

Personally I'd just work on building her self confidence right now. Whatever activities she's into, be enthusiastic about, encourage her to keep trying new things etc etc.

The homophobia situation is a hard call. Part of me thinks it would be a good idea to chat to her class teacher & perhaps make them aware of the stonewall anti-bullying materials. Then again, she probably doesn't want to be treated any differently (if the teacher doesn't quite know how to handle it) and it could backfire if you inadvertantly *out* her. It's a tough one.

On balance, I'd probably suggest just putting a bit of effort into getting to know her main teacher, without referencing the LGBT stuff for now - so you've got a relationship there if there are bullying issues later down the line.

Also maybe worth getting involved in the PTA if you've got the time?

---------- Post added 3rd Aug 2014 at 10:49 AM ----------

God, my head is flip flopping on this one. Maybe it would be better for her just to be *out* right from the start of secondary school? Like most 11 year olds haven't really started the main homophobia phase, so it sould almost end up being a non-issue in the short-term. It may well boost her confidence a lot just to get it out there right from the start. I dunno. There's no guidebook for this situation.

---------- Post added 3rd Aug 2014 at 10:58 AM ----------

I mean on the first day of secondary school everyone is nervous as hell & desperately wants to make friends. Within a few weeks, at the point the kids start developing deeper friendships, it won't even be news.

 

Wow! I could read this over and over again. Your an amazing mum!!! If only every parent was like that
:eusa_clap

 

It could be worth contacting the lgbt youth group & asking for advice there? I'd guess they probably have/had members who are at the school and have a better insight. They may even be able to put you in touch with other parents whose LGBT kids are at the school. Whether you'd want that or not, I don't know.

Anyway, great to hear British schools have moved on from the bad old days of section 28

---------- Post added 3rd Aug 2014 at 11:28 AM ----------

Btw, You definitely win the mum of the year award

 

Well done for just letting her grow. She will know now or later that she is accepted no matter. Some of us know from day dot who we are and some of us need a ride to learn.

 

This thread is so amazing with such great parents, it deserves Daft punk clapping.

 

That's fantastic news!

 

Honestly some of the stories I've read on here just make me want to kick homophobic parents so hard! Or possibly just adopt a houseful of gay kids.[/QUOTE]

Same (the second part)