Ok so last night my brother (Michael) told me that he is gay... he is 16 and I am the ONLY one who knows. I am 110% ok with it. I just don't know what to say! I want him to know that i support him and that I'm here for him. We are already really close. Does anyone have any advice as to how to be there for him? THANK YOU!!!(!)
Welcome to EC! Basically, don't do anything right off the bat, as he may not be comfortable talking about it yet. However, if he seems OK, just respond naturally. Tell him that you're perfectly OK with it, that you support him, that you're grateful that he trusted you enough to tell you, and that he can talk about it with you whenever he wants. Just this simple response can make a world of difference.
Firstly it's great that he felt confident enough to tell you, so you're obviously someone he trusts. I told my sister I was gay maybe 6-12 months ago, she, like you is 100% fine, we talked about it once, but since then, it's never been brought up again. I mean it's something I'd like to be able to talk openly about, I'm just to nervous and would rather her bring it up if she wanted to. I suppose just let him know your always there to talk to, maybe ask a couple of questions, then a week or so later maybe ask a few more just so he feels like it hasn't been completely forgotten/disregarded, as for most LGBT people, coming out can be really scary. I guess in my case, I feel like it has just been forgotten about, but that could also be through me not bringing it up ever. Hope that helped a bit
Well, I would do something like this, because this is how I feel with others who know: Don't say anything you wouldn't normally say. Don't treat him any different. If he has issues with his personal life, ask him whats wrong. If you are talking about hot/cute girls, ask him who he thinks is hot/cute or even better, throw in a hot guy and try to get him to blush. My buddy caught me off guard with that when I came out to him the other weekend (the day after). Was funny.
Just tell him that he can talk to you about anything in his own time. Coming out to the first person is scary to most people, and from my experience he will become more comfortable talking to you about it, it just takes time. And good on you for being a supportive sister
Thank you for choosing EC for having your questions and concerns answered. I think that you should accept your brother with loving arms and treat him as you always have. Be happy for the fact that he chose to tell you the truth and that he values his relationship with you. Be there for him. I know how difficult it is for people like us. So, be there for him in tumultuous times and when he needs a shoulder to lean on.
Don't go silent on him. He took a lot of courage telling you and is probably aching to hear that you are OK with it. So just tell him. If not in person, then by email or whatever - just so he knows!
Firstly, I am not sure if anyone else has said this, but because he trusted you enough to tell you then keep that trust and don't tell anyone unless he says you can. Like other have said, keep yourself open about so if he feels he needs to talk, he can come to you.
I wouldn't force him to talk about it unless he wants to, when he needs or wants to talk about something he will find a way to. Tell him what you told us, if he knows that in no uncertain terms that you are koan with it and support him it will make the world of difference. I felt that coming out initially made me feel over-exposed because it took some time to get used to that fact. I didn't need to hide that part of myself from others. If you love him and respect him and his privacy then you can't go far wrong.
Talk to him about it, tell him exactly what you posted here. That's all he really needs. Also assure him that he is in charge of who knows. But he trusted you enough to come out to you, that means you are special to him. Listen and reassure, you are an awesome sister.:icon_wink
Be like you've always been. Supportive and a loving sister. That's all there is to it . I'm so happy that there are people like you in this world . Thanks for supporting him!
Many people have given good advice. I will add this--offer to be with him when he decides to tell your parents. I hope that they will be as accepting and supportive as you are. That said, I wouldn't pressure him to do that until he is ready.
I agree that you should let him come out to others on his own time, but that doesn't mean you can do little things to show your support.
Really, you only need to be there for him if anyone gives him s*** about his sexuality. Other than that, don't make any level of a deal with it. Just get on with life. ---------- Post added 4th Sep 2014 at 12:15 PM ---------- And if he gets upset about it at all, do the brother stuff
First off, you are a wonderful sister! He will most likely want to talk more about it, so first and foremost: be there for him, listen actively, and give him the space to talk it out, you are, for the time being, the only person he can do that with. He may appear embarrassed or silent, so just let him know that whenever he wants to talk about it, he can with you. This can only deepen your love for each other, I commend you for taking the time to ask how best to do this!
Just let him know what you just said to us... you're behind him 110% and if he needs anything youre here for him you're a great sis