My close friend of a decade came out to me as Trans ( presently female to genderless). This is actually quite ironic as I came out to her as gay a few years back. She has told me she does not feel right being a woman. She has always been a bit on the more masculine side but this comes as a shock even to a gay man. I fully support her and want her to be happy but I am a bit confused and would appreciate the input of others. She is beginning to use a masculine form of her name and referring to herself as male but she says she is not any gender? Has anyone been down this road before I would appreciate some advice. Thanks
Hi, I have some advice for you. The most important thing to remember is that she/ze/they is still the same person and your friend so always be supportive. Also remember to ask for proper pronouns.
sometimes people don't identify as either gender, but they prefer a set of pronouns over another. it's best to ask your friend what they are most comfortable with.
Just treat them in the same manner as you did before. They're still the same person, right? Ask them what they preferred to be called (in terms of gender pronouns/name) and continue from that .
Walking down that road myself. For me, I don't feel like I fully identify with either gender option, but I feel like I should be more male than female. So I prefer male pronouns, have started using a masculine name in some circles, and have been shooting for a look that's more masculine, if androgynous. To me, all of this is very normal, and it makes perfect sense. But I can see how it might be confusing to others. Your friend is using a masculine form of her name now. Since he is referring to himself in the masculine, it's probably safe to say that he prefers male pronouns, but you should definitely make sure of that! It'll probably seem weird since you've referred to your friend in the feminine so long, but clarity on this will make it easier to show your support. And the little things like using the name and pronouns that your friend prefers will probably make their day. Aside from that, just be there to support them like a good friend! It might be helpful to look into trans issues to better understand what they're going through.
