New - Parents MTF young adult - Need advice

Goodness. This is a tricky situation. If she came out to you guys and you all were relatively accepting, i don't see why she would completely leave you all behind once she got to school. Sometimes we all go a little overboard with the freedom we receive the second we are no longer our parents rooftops, but i am bewildered by your circumstance. I am a college student myself, and i still have relatively decent relations with my folks (whether or not that stays after i come out is a different story), but i know i went through a phase of distancing. I came right back though when i realized i needed their support financially and their advice... Hm... Have you got contact with any of her fiends on campus? You say she has a security system... Does that mean she is off campus? If so does she have a roommate you could contact? Or the land lord to ask them to check up on her? And worse case scenario, how hard is it to drive down there yourself? At that point in time i would probably take matters into your own hands and try and make contact with her. Your paying for her schooling, you have a right to know about her wellbeing if you're paying for some of it (or at least id assume you are. Don't want to make assumptions though)... Anyways. Please update us when you hear back. Sometimes it can just be the time getting away from us, and not knowing how to communicate how we feel to those we love so we just choose to ignore. Keep your alls heads up. Things will work out.

 

I think your daughter see you as a part of the life she wants to left behind. At least it is what I understand from your describtions.

Another thing comes to my mind is being too deep in depression... At least it was what I did, trying to push everyone out of my life when mine were at its peak.

Maybe you can work out a deal with her... for you to let her alone she would call at least twice a month to let she is okay.

We all do/did very stupid thing when we were young. One of the most common misconceptions we had probably thinking our parents are invulnerable, they can handle anything... but they can't... you realize it when you get older and have children of your own... or cats/nephews in my case.

I don't know what else to say but give both to you and your husband virtual hugs and including you in my prayers. (*hug*)

Hope you can find a solution to this problem soon. Stay strong.

 

Hi, I'm a transgender female whose probably about the same age as your daughter (though I am in a different stage of my transition. I've yet to start hormones.)and I have been told by a former autism expert that I probably suffer from aspergers (and, by my current therapist, that a significant number of blows to the head as a child has damaged my sensory processing and cognitive functions, meaning instead of aspergers I have brain damage that causes symptoms of autism. I walk like I'm crippled, now, and have fragmented perception.), so I may be able to offer insight. If I didn't have access to my extremely accepting family because of their close proximity to my location; I probably wouldn't speak much to them either. It would not be out of disrespect or dislike, but simply that I'm to busy to do anything other than homework.
The fact she doesn't respond to emails doesn't surprise me one bit. I don't even check my email. I get so caught up in other thing, such as this website, that my email is the last thing on my mind when I'm on the internet. I know I would accept no support from my family financially, but that's only because we're dirt poor. I can assure you your daughter has some friends. I am known for being completely silent for days at a time, and I have friends at college. Me! Friends!
Keep trying to contact her, she'll respond at some point I'm sure. Isolation is rarely something people do by choice. I can't think of any direct means by which to help you, but leaving a letter on her door should do some good. The semester is coming to a close, and once the stress of college lets up a bit I think she'll probably get back to you.
Good luck! I hope things work out.

 

I see it's been almost a month since you posted. Have you had any luck/response? Has the LGBT group responded?

 

As an aspie myself, I can tell you, sometimes it's difficult socializing. Even with close family. There are times I go completely on autopilot, higher functions completely shut down for maintenance that can last weeks. Unneccessary, as in not needed to survive, communications DO NOT happen when I am like this. Perhaps that is what she is going thru?

 

As far as after transition, I'm not familiar, however I have heard of long lost close family members desiring to reconnect years or decades later...