My son has told me he is bisexual

Thats great!!! In terms of keeping him safe, just ask him when and who its okay to tell (if at all). Just make sure you support him, and that he gets his feelings out to you. That's one of the most important parts-a loving parent that he can be comfortable with

 

Hey, there's a section of this forum for Parents and Family Members of LGBT People, and there's a lot of threads there from other people who were in your situation. It'd probably be best for you to read through them and see the responses, as they are bound to help greatly. You could even remake this thread there if you want, as it might get lost in this section or not seen by people who regularly help in the other.

I wish I could help with your specific questions but I'm in a bit of a rush right now, so all I can say is as long as you show him you love and support him he should be fine. As long as you make it clear to him he can always come to you and trust you, he should be alright.

 

Wow! You may possibly be the nicest/most supportive parent I have ever spoken to.
Don't worry you'll get plenty of advice here and trust me, you've helped massively just by being as accepting as you are, honestly I'm kind of jealous of him.
｡(*^▽^*)ゞ

I'll try to answer your questions as best I can:

1: This one's tough. Since he is teenager you can't really use parental controls but the best you can do is approach like you would any other child; explain to him the dangers of meeting people in real life, sending pics etc , but also explain the added dangers of possible cyberbullyong due to his sexuality.

2: Again a tough dilemna. You definetaly DON'T want to break his trust by outing him to his father, children will often come out to the parent they trust/connect with the most. If not then usually they will come out to the mother first due to the maternal link being quite strong. Different situations warrant slightly different actions but generally the best you can do is support him until he is ready to come out to his father too.

3: I'm curious, I'm also quite sporty, what kind of sport does he play?

4: Again, unfortunately this is something beyond your cpntrol. The best you can do is warn him to be careful and be there for him if anything happens. He will come out to them when he is ready, if not it is likely he will find new friends, who he can feel comfortable being out with.

Just let him know that it's ok to find new friends if he is
not accepted.

So long story short the most you can do is be supportive and communicate and MOST of all don't let your relationship change because of this.

I'm sorry my advice may not be very helpful but you seem like a very nice person and I wish you the best of luck with your predicament. Always feel free to ask if you have anymore questions or update us on what's up. :3

 

It may be an idea to point him in the direction of this site, that way he can learn things at his own pace and in a safe environment. What are his father's views on gay rights? Is there any reason why he may not want his dad to know, or is it just something he thinks? Most mothers who I see on here say their kids don't want them to tell their father but in the end it's fine.

How old is he (and his friends) and what sport does he do? You'll find kids these days are much more open to gay people and are actually the biggest proponents of gay rights. As for internet safety, it's something that has to be done wether he rolls his eyes back and goes "Muuuum" or not. If he doesn't like talking about it you may want to start out by saying "I know you don't like talking about it, but it's really important you listen because I love you and don't want you to get hurt". These 2 pages are run by the UK's National Crime Agency but they have many links and good advice.

Thinkuknow - home
Thinkuknow - home

Do you know if there are any LGBT groups in your area, either for parents or youths? I think getting him talking to people here or in a group is vital for any LGBT teen, all he will want is to be accepted and naturally he will try and find that. His friends will most likely be fine, but he will want to talk to others 'like him' and it is all to easy for teens to start talking with the wrong sort of people.

 

I wish my parents were like you TTwTT it is good to be there for your son at all times
remind him that if he has any "road bumps" at school for him to go you straight away
and is there an LGBT club at his school? it can help him be more active and more proud of himself and for the LGBT community c:

 

It's mostly focused on American athletes but the website outsports.com has a lot of stories about lgbt athletes, from high school to the pros. It may be a good resource for your son to show him there's plenty of athletes like him

 

Hi, you are so amazing! More parents should be like you, my mother doesn't believe bisexual people exist so your son is very lucky to have you .

I'm not sure I have any advice to offer being neither sporty or a boy, I'm sure your son is acutely aware of which of his friends he can trust to tell, if any. The idea that your friends might ridicule you or hate you for being bi will be on his mind, he might lose friends, he might not. Being a supportive mum if he does is the only thing you can really do.

 

It's wonderful how supportive you are, it's always amazing to read pieces like these. I also want to thank you because your attitude gives a lot of hope to many others reading. I wish your son well - I think he will do well with such wonderful and supportive parents. Thank you for sharing!

 

1. just tell him he cant ,online friends in person
2. u cant tell his father without your son knowing or he will only lose control of the situation try asking him if u can tell his father
3. i share the same problem and if he wishes to come out that is what is (almost) always best
4. warn him but dont over state any possibilities or he may become depressed

ps. try your best to stay strong

 

I just wanted to say how excellent you've been with this. I played baseball in high school. So, yes, you can like sports and be attracted to guys. It doesn't make you any less of a man/boy.

 

1. How do I approach online safety with him? It's always been an open subject but my concern is now the threat of a predator seems to be so much greater depending on who and where he is chatting. How do I stop him meeting people that may not be who they seem?
You kind of cant. You can curb his internet usage and watch over him but if you become overbearing and spy on him, it could damage your relationship. Make sure he knows about safe sex, the dangers of rape, being careful online. Kids need to be able to experiment and make mistakes. That doesn't mean let him date a 50-year-old but online relationships aren't all that odd nowadays.

2. I feel so much guilt not telling his father but I know I would feel so much guilt if I did and broke my son's confidence. What's the best answer?
It's difficult to say. I had my mom keep it secret from my dad for 2 months before I was ready to tell him. I just hope it's not years your son wants to wait.

3. My son is very sporty and is very talented but sadly this sport of choice is not very accepting on any level. How do I approach this with him.
You might want to read Gareth Thomas' book Proud.

4. Being a teenager is hard enough and he is a beautiful kind hearted boy who has always worn his heart on his sleeve and I know that some of his friends will not accept this due to their age and maturity again do I tell him to be careful?
Certainly tell him to be careful. I couldn't imagine coming out in highschool. Kids at that age are bastards and too immature in their sexuality.

Remain supportive & let him know you're ready to listen when he's ready to talk. This may take him years to work through but we all take our own pace to navigate their out sexuality & get used to being lgbt. You sound like a great mom, you're on the right track

 

RIGHT ON!!! You remind me of my mom. (*hug*) Also yes, a letter would be good.