My sister is still questioning her gender, and has told me that she does not feel as though she is cis-gender. I have done my best to support her and recently I just calling her by a gender-neutral sounding nickname. However, pronouns just confuse me. I'm currently using Female pronouns but don't wish to make her uncomfortable. However as she is unsure what gender she does identify as, and she is also reluctant to come out to anyone else, I'm not really sure what I can do. I want to help her as much possible and make her as comfortable as possible, but I'm really not sure what to do here, and I'm not sure if it would be rude to ask.
You could ask her if she'd prefer different pronouns. But if she doesn't want to come out to anyone else, it might be hard to do that. I don't think it would be rude to ask, it shows you're making an effort and that you support her.
Especially if your sister has come out to you alone, and is confused, maybe it's less that you should ask her which pronouns she prefers (because she is confused) but maybe ask her what pronouns she'd like to try. I found that I came out to my best friend first, and she really helped me along to figuring out who I was by helping me experiment with different pronouns and helping me gauge how I reacted to each one after a few days. Not only will it help your sister start to figure out where she's comfortable, but it'll help you learn what pronouns would make her comfortable, too. I don't think she would see it as rude. Either way, I wish your sister luck. Already, she seems lucky to have someone as supportive as you, right?
I think I'll ask her then. Thank you for the advice. Thank you! I'm doing my best to support her, I don't want her to feel alone. ---------- Post added 17th Jul 2015 at 11:02 AM ---------- Thank you for the advice! I'll probably ask her. ---------- Post added 17th Jul 2015 at 11:03 AM ---------- Thank you for the advice! I'll think about asking her. I want support her as much as possible.
