what did your parents do or not do?

What you told him was excellent. Let him know how brave he is! Also tell him that you're there if he needs to talk and if he needs any help coming out to anyone else (family, friends, etc.)

 

It's good that you're such a supportive parent for your son, you should be proud of yourself. I think every kid should get the support of their parent(s) when they have something like this.

As for me, not that long ago, I came out to my mum as trans. She said many things along the lines of, "You need to accept being female to be happy," "You need to respect our traditions," "it isn't easy for me either," etc. I've been working on getting my transition approved and she has been saying that she still believes that I need to accept being female in order to be happy. Yet she is still willing to take me to the place that I need to make my case for having my transition approved. She still refers to me with female pronouns even though I have expressed to her before that it makes me uncomfortable. I wish she was more supportive. I know it might seem like I'm rushing things but I'm totally prepared and willing to start my transition. I've been ready for it and I wish she would respect that. I still have yet to come out to her as gay and I'm wondering if I should even bother with that if her reaction has been like this with me being trans. It feels as though she doesn't take me seriously sometimes:dry:...

 

I came out to my dad in the car, extremely randomly. It was pretty awkward, but he was cool with it. He hasn't said anything since and our relationship hasn't changed at all, but I feel he tries to ignore the fact that I'm gay. As for my mum, she asked me to sit down and told me that my dad mentionned me coming out. She cried and said I love you, and was pretty overly dramatic. But now she's accepted it and it's all cool.

You're handling it well with your son from the sounds of it personally, I prefer not to talk about it but I guess everyome's different, so I can't really give you any advice for your son. Just make sure he knows you love him

 

you sound like a great mum who loves her son so much. I wish I had his courage. I am 22 and still dealing with coming out. I cant even comprehend coming out at 13.

When I come out to my mum, I hope she would act like how you have. I think what I would want is for life to continue on as normal.
Me- "mum, I am gay"
Mum- "cool, how is work?"
I think that is something I would want. Acknowledge positively, but act as if it isn't a big deal (because it isn't).
Your son is so lucky to have a supportive mum. I don't think you need advice, you have handled it with perfection already =)

 

You're off to a great start, don't underestimate how much your acceptance means to him. I wish my parents were accepting when I came out to them. It's been over 20 years and I feel like I've only recently begun to get over it. Yes, he might lose some friends when coming out to them but he'll make new ones. Starting high school is a time of transition anyway. People come and go. One thing I wish I had, aside from supportive parents, is a support group. There are LGBT youth groups available in many places. Maybe look into it and see if he's interested? It seems like it would be a good way to meet other kids who are like him.

 

You seem like a wonderful person. Your son is very lucky to have you.

Things weren't great for me. My Dad treated me like crap before I told them. (He almost broke my hand the first time I painted my nails, among worse things) and even after I left the household he was still emotionally abusive, and still is. He shows up in my city(and doorstep) randomly without telling me from time to time...scares me.

My Mom took it a bit better, and is super supportive now but it didn't start out that way. She wasn't super supportive at the start, and called me evil in the middle of a B&N. That last bit was over something else I came out over but still feel it was relevant.

 

You sound like you're doing fine as it is, and I'm sure he'll appreciate it. My Mom was great about it personally, she didn't mind it and hugged me.

 

You'd be surprised how brave some people are. I am not out to my parents yet but will be soon. I am also out to most of my friends who most asked me why I made such a big deal out of it and made it a small thing. That really boosted my confidence. I am also planning on coming out publicly with a lot of support from my friends which is amazing and I've heard it'll be a really good thing coming out at this age.

As a mother would you have any advice on someone coming out to their mum?

Kind regards,
Creator.

 

Thanks for your advice it means a lot and I feel a lot more confident. As you said you found texts on your sons phone, this has given me an Idea of maybe 'setting up' texts for my mum to find talking about me wanting to come out to my her on my phone. Then if she wants to she could talk to me about it or when I come out to her she won't be as much of a shock.

 

I wish there were more mums like you who had the guts to ask the actual LGBT community for advice rather than straight people.

My mum gave me the best gift: her acceptance.
If that wasn't enough to make my heart swell, she took me to a support group, she gave me her ear so I could talk to her whenever. She took the pressure off of me to come out to the rest of the household by offering herself(although some may not like this) and she helped me come out to my dad.
I decided to come out to my dad over email, as we don't see each other much and I'm not as close to him, plus I feel like typing it gave me more space to think and more confidence. We had an exchange of emails, a bit of an online heart-to-heart, and we moved on. He has asked me about it recently in person, but was very respectful of the fact I wasn't as comfortable sharing everything to him.

What can I say? I'm a very lucky girl.

 

Well as a straight Mom here asking for help for my bi-child, you would think that I would have some wisdom, but alas I have none. But we are in this together!

 

You're already doing an awesome job, and your son is very brave. I still haven't fully come out yet, and I'm 23. I told my mom, but not my dad. I'm such a coward that I couldn't even tell her in person, so I wrote her a letter. She called me after she read it and told me that she loved me and that wasn't going to change. I was still embarrassed, but it was a relief. I actually wish she'd made a slightly bigger deal out of it, because we never talked about it again which made me feel like she'd forgotten. That lead me to awkwardly asking "....so....do you remember that I told you I'm gay?" Turns out she hadn't forgotten. I'm just an insecure idiot.

 

I'm going to speak from a personal standpoint and use my family situation, but it might not be useful, because most families are much more affectionate and loving than my own.

I'm Indian, but have relatively liberal parents, considering that I was born and raised in the US. My parents don't exactly support the LGBT community, but they aren't outwardly homophobic either. It's kind of that thing where they know there's nothing wrong with not being straight, but they still have that subconscious disapproval for it.

In my dream world, when I come out, I can just come downstairs, joke around for a bit, get everyone in a good mood, etc. Then I'll just go, "I have to tell you something. I'm polysexual, which means I like multiple genders. Girls, guys, and some people that are in between." And they'll just go, "ok, cool," and we'll move on with our day and just never mention it again because it's too awkward to talk about dating or sexuality or anything with Indian parents.

But this is my family situation and you need to know your son - is he more affectionate? Then maybe he'll want more reassurance and conversation about it. Really, it all depends on the person.

 

My parents reacted pretty much how I expected they would.

I was most nervous to come out to them, and they were literally the last people in my life to find out. About 2 years after coming out of the denial stage and being completely okay with myself I finally told them one night while we were watching TV. I was home visiting a random weekend from university and somehow the topic of boys came up - my mom asked if I was seeing anyone. I said no and realized it was now or never, so I finally said I wasn't interested in men.

My dad: "I figured."
My mom: "Are you sure?"

My dad was/is definitely more cool about it than my mom, but they've both come to accept it. We don't bring it up a lot but they both know I have a girlfriend and have even met her. So I suppose it could be worse!