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When good friends are "Fundamentalists'"

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by Firepit5, Jul 30, 2015.

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  1. Firepit5

    Firepit5
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Nevada
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
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    We have neighbors that are more like family. My husband and I love their children almost as much as we love our own. They live next to our house and we share a yard and vice versa. I have a big family but my neighbor has been a better sister to me than most of my own sisters.

    She and I had a conversation a year or so ago about being gay and she confirmed my fears. She holds to the biblical view, to which I obviously disagree and I told her so. I also told her about my brother (who hasn't been in the closet since the 80's).

    I am not exactly asking for advice. I think I know what I want to (or should) do. But it came to me that someone on this board may have been in this position before and would have some experience.
     
    #1 Firepit5, Jul 30, 2015
  2. TobaccoFlower

    TobaccoFlower
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    Out to everyone
    I actually kinda work with a homophobe and I come from a small town with a bunch of them, but what exactly are you looking for in terms of advice?
     
    #2 TobaccoFlower, Aug 5, 2015
  3. doinitagain

    doinitagain
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    Hi Firepit5
    If you have a good relationship with your neigbour I shouldn't let this aspect spoil it. You are in a strong position to subtly change her position over the coming years (or decades :icon_bigg).
    I'm a strong believer in 'doing the right thing'. You could maybe subtly ask about her view on divorce or eating shellfish (or wearing purple or mixed fibres!)
     
    #3 doinitagain, Aug 5, 2015
  4. mangotree

    mangotree
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    Every good friendship/relationship involves disagreements.
     
    #4 mangotree, Aug 5, 2015
  5. zgirl81

    zgirl81
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    I agree with mangotree!

    If you don't want to damage the relationship go slowly with the tough conversations, and start easy! If they see there's no danger in telling you their opinions they'll be more likely to listen to your views too.

    I have a very fundamentalist family. It's been a rough road for my siblings and me since we're all colors of the rainbow... and the only colorful ones in the extended tree. We've been grooming our parents for years to have the conversation that will finally out us, and I think we'll be ready soon. I don't know if we'll ever be able to come out to our grandparents or aunts/uncles though.

    We've broached the following topics with them in the past few years and not been disowned:
    - Drinking
    - Sex outside of marriage (and children born outside of wedlock)
    - Politics
    - Depression and Anxiety
    - Marriage Equality
    - Religious Tolerance
    - The creation of the universe (we have a scientist in the family)

    Thanks to Caitlyn Jenner we'll be able to broach transgender issues now! Yay!

    Good luck with your neighbors! Understanding takes time to grow.
     
    #5 zgirl81, Aug 15, 2015
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