advice please - my 12 year old has told me he is gay

I actually came out to my mother today and she was fine with it. She thought the same thing. As I can think the same as your son, you shouldn't worry. If he does get bullied that's when you step in, but until then don't worry.

 

Most schools have a Gay Straight Alliance Group. I'm sure if there is an issue and you bring it to the attention of the school administration they will deal with it appropriately.

Just make sure your son knowas you are there for him.

 

It's very hard for a mother not to worry.. But I do agree with this! Don't worry too much Daisy.. any ''bullying'' hasn't happened yet so it's not even something that should be focused on right now. The main thing you can do is just support your son.. and you're doing very well! Good luck x

 

Also, I have a niece who through high school was gay who now is in a heterosexual relationship, and a nephew who is and was through high open and out and they never had an issue. I would have known I was the Chairman of the School Committee.

Things are better today. Bullies are much more monitored today.

 

Your worry is actually a normal and good thing. It's just common motherly instincts and a lot of parents with gay children said they've experienced a similar thing.

But your son seems to be fine with it. His generation especially, even within this past 5 years, are nowhere near as negative towards gay people as they were in your time.

If he's fine and happy you should trust him. As long as you make him know you'll always be there for him and you love him, and if he ever does get bullied he should always come to you about it, then he'll be fine.

So yeah, you're doing fine and you sound like a great mother.

 

I just want to say I admire your son's courage. 12 may seem a little young but if he's sure of himself why not be out? You're a good mom for worrying a little but if he thinks he'll be ok it's his choice. Just make sure he knows you love and support him and all that jazz. I'm almost 25 and I still haven't told my mom. He's got a lot of courage and you're an awesome mom for being so accepting.

 

I'm sure the situation has changed today than had it been just 10 years ago. There are other kids who probably are gay themselves, or have family members who are out. Would it be alright for you to check if his school has a non-discrimination policy? By the time he is an adult, it would be even more accepted. My thought is: if he said he's known for a long time, then it is true. I've known I was gay ever since I could remember (also around 12, if not younger), and it hasn't changed. Around the time of puberty might be a little catastrophic (as I'm sure it's been with everybody), but I would wager that it be even more so with gay youth. But since he's established his identity at such a young age, and has the necessary support system (props to you), then I could only think it'd be a lot easier on him later on.

If worse comes to worst and he does have to face with bullies, a lot of parents go so far as to change schools. If all his friends already know and are fine with it, I don't see how it'd change so much when he returns to school. But for now it's just "wait and see", and that's the scariest part I'd presume. I think inviting his friend(s) over was definitely a great idea on your behalf.

 

Are you in Bristol UK ? There is a group called freedom youth which might be beneficial. I'd your worried about thinga at school it might be worth speaking to his head of house who can keep an eye on the situation.

 

First off, I'd like to say that you seem to be handling this extremely well. Your worries are probably showing your son that you accept and love him, and everything a mother should want.
I would also like to say that there are many scientific theories (I don't know too much in the subject) which prove that homosexuality is determined when you are still in the womb. There are many cases where people discover their sexuality or gender much earlier than twelve. For example, I have memories of feeling exceptionally bigender, but I was unable to discover myself because I had little to no knowledge about LGBT+. I was twelve myself when I finally started to pick up on it.
Me and your son's generation are extremely knowledgeable and accepting of LGBT+, and nobody I know has been bullied for their gender or sexuality.
Also, I personally think that it's very good for your son to come out this early in life, because it means that coming out will be much less of a problem when he's older.