for parents who are new to having a trans child

The other day I was on Facebook and saw a post that said something about being lucky because not only is my son so wonderful, but also that I get to be his mommy.

I shared that to my trans son,Jake's, page. A few days later he im'd me and said that when he read it, he cried and said to himself "I'm so loved".

It was such a small thing, but it meant so much to him.

Little things can mean so much to a child who is going through this. As Jake is a 28 year old adult, I believe that even adult children can benefit emotionally as well.

 

I'm so sorry. For the record, I was very upset and confused at first. I prayed that God would remove this burden from my only child. My child was so unhappy and in so much pain and I was unable to do anything about it...... until I realized that I COULD do something. I could help facilitate his transition. I could take the bull by the horns and get this thing going and be the same mother to this adult child that I was when he still needed me. I realized that he did still need mom to help figure things out. It's such a complicated mess of emotions. I'll be forever grateful to the folks here at EC. I had to cry it out here because I couldn't let my baby see me losing it. I figured he had enough to worry about.

Although I'm still very unsure about how I feel about this, I am sure of one thing. I'm sure that I spend a lot less time crying as Jake spends more time laughing and smiling and finally enjoying life. I'm getting closer to that place of comfort where every parent needs to be in order to leave their child behind in this world and die knowing that their kid will be alright without them.

That's all I ask.... well that's a lie...I asked Jake not to wear the nose ring when I visit because I do have a hard time looking at his beautiful face with that thing hanging out of his nose! I'm still his mother! :lol:

I wish every parent new to this situation would come here before reacting so I could remind the confused moms and dads that not only do their children still need them.....they need them more than ever.

Please share your experience that I may learn from you.

---------- Post added 13th Aug 2015 at 11:48 AM ----------

Thanks sweetie. I wish it came easier than it did, but it came. I had to grieve the loss of my daughter and that's ok, as long as Jake was able to let me do that and understand I will love him just as much as I did her. My God... I couldn't bear to lose my child.

 

:icon_sad: my heart is aching for you, child. I want to think that your mother is grieving right now and I hope she educates herself and apologizes to you. I also hope you know that you are not "nature's mistake"! You are just as God made you, and God doesn't make mistakes. (*hug*)

I've had many different thoughts go through my head and I think the biggest one was wondering what I did wrong to cause my child so much pain. As a mother, I can tell you that I felt like someone threw a grenade and blew up all the hopes and dreams I had for my daughter. I couldn't tell Jake that, of course. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this must be for him, so he doesn't need my issues to deal with as well. I know it sounds like we have a distant family dynamic, but it's quite the opposite. I'm getting a kick out of Jake's enjoyment of the changes from the hormones. I've sent this kid on several 3 week all expense paid trips to 7 countries. As an artist, seeing the Sistine Chapel should have been the highlight of his young life, but no. If I would have only known that a deep voice and a furry butt was truly what was going to make him happy, I could have saved a fortune! :roflmao:

I don't know your mother but I don't think I have ever met a mother that doesn't love her child. Maybe the next time she says something like that, you can gently explain that is not a path you chose and it's hurtful to hear these things. Oh, and I thought Jake hated my guts, but as time went on, I saw that this was just part of becoming an adult.

I wish you only the best on your journey..(*hug*) God be with you!!

Ps.. I gleaned a lot from your experience. Thank you for sharing.