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I believe my cousin is gay?

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by Priceless, Aug 21, 2015.

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  1. Priceless

    Priceless
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    Now, I could be wrong, but I think it's easier to tell when someone is or is not gay/bisexual when there is no sexual or romantic attraction to them. I love my cousin to death, and I mean I know what it's like to be in the closet.

    He's extremely flamboyant and usually whenever I mention that he could get any girl in his school, which is an exaggeration but I could totally tell when I went to one of his plays that these girls were all over him, he gets pretty silent and seems like he doesn't know what to say.

    We have a pretty big family, and I know one of my other cousins is bisexual, I'm bisexual, but my family is extremely religious. It's not that they don't believe homosexuality is a sin, it's just the way they would talk about it, mostly my grandfather is who I'm referencing, would be extremely uncomfortable, everyone who is would get bombarded with questions and a huge deal would be made about it. None of us are actually out to the entirety of our families, but my cousin told me, my mom and my aunt. The one who I suspect is is obviously out to no one, and I'm out to no one in my family.

    Anyway, what are your thoughts? I love my family to death, I just don't want my cousin to go on pretending to be someone he isn't. And I know the only real way is if I ask but I hate being put in that position and I don't want to do that to him, especially if he isn't ready.
     
    #1 Priceless, Aug 21, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2015
  2. andimon

    andimon
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    You should make the first step and come out to him. Maybe you'll get a reaction.
     
    #2 andimon, Aug 21, 2015
  3. Nick1020

    Nick1020
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    First let me say that unless you think he is facing some serious emotional trauma, it's not really up to you to figure out. This is his journey to discover who he is. Feel free to come out to him and please support him if he comes out to you. However, it is ultimately up to him, not you to figure out. The last thing a questioning or closeted individual wants is to be asked about their sexuality.
     
    #3 Nick1020, Sep 3, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2015
  4. Linus

    Linus
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    Eh, don't force him out of the closet. You should come out to him, though, if you haven't already. Another thing to consider. Stereotypes. There is a chance that he's not gay, in which, he might find the idea insulting. I know that for a while I've thought my brother was gay, and have been trying to push him out of the closet. Then I found out that he wasn't gay, just a really girly straight guy. Now he's really sensitive about the topic, because everyone else thinks he's gay, and he doesn't want to be thought of that way.

    Your cousin might be gay. But, if he's not comfortable yet, you shouldn't push him, or come to assumptions.
     
    #4 Linus, Sep 17, 2015
  5. GreenPanRose270

    GreenPanRose270
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    I had a feeling one of my best friends was gay, too, and then he came out to me as pan, and spent like five minutes trying to explain what it meant, cause he thought I'd never heard the word XD I came out to him as well.
    That being said, I agree with everyone who said not to force him out of the closet. He should decide when he's ready. Maybe coming out to him would be a good idea, though.
     
    #5 GreenPanRose270, Sep 23, 2015
  6. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

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    Yeah if you put him on the spot, it could make him uncomfortable or even send him into further denial. I think you should come out to him if you're ready for that. Show him you trust him and confide in him that you're bisexual. Try not to say anything that might make him think you suspect he's gay. Unless you're close to him, he might be suspicious that you chose him out of all your family members to tell first. But if you are close to him and talk to him somewhat often, that shouldn't be a problem.
    If you do this and he doesn't come out to you right then and there, then don't try to press him any more. He might not be ready right away, but you just coming out to him will probably help him a lot and maybe he will come to accept it more and come out to you in the future.
     
    #6 bubbles123, Sep 23, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2015
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