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Think my sis is trans?

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by queermeerkat, Sep 11, 2015.

  1. queermeerkat

    queermeerkat Guest

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    When I came out to my sister as genderfluid, part of her reasoning for dismissing my trans-ness was because she has always felt like a man and wanted to be seen as a man (turns out she's felt that way since she was a child), but she doesn't experience soul-crushing dysphoria and have a burning desire to transition so she figures it's no big deal. While it's not really my business, if my sister is keeping that inside and just convinced herself that it's insignificant, I want to help her bc that'd be rather unhealthy. But at the same time what if she really doesn't care about transition or pronouns or labels? I don't quite know what to do though I don't want to do nothing.
     
  2. Acm

    Acm Guest

    I don't know for sure if I have all the information here, but in my opinion that doesn't sound like enough to declare someone trans. I usually ask for clarification when people say they "feel like a gender," because that can mean very different things. And wanting to be seen as a man could be caused by trans feelings, but it could also be caused by other things. So I don't really think you can say that she's trans from this information. I'm not trying to say that she definitely isn't, but it's not really much to go on. Also, I don't know your sister but it's possible that she could resent being labeled as trans if she doesn't feel that way. It's really up to you what to do though, this is just my opinion.
     
  3. Eveline

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    My brother used similar reasoning to try and convince me. There is a huge difference between imagining that you are a person of the opposite sex and actually being one and feeling gender dysphoria as a result. Because she used it as a way to invalidate your gender identity, I would say that she is not trans and you should be careful about accepting her narrative.
     
  4. Jellal

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    People experience these sorts of feelings differently. There's no one right way of handling it, no cut-and-dry identifying fingerprint that will mark her as trans. If she doesn't seem bothered and is able to live her life, then let things be. Maybe ask her once in a while if she ever feels the need to talk things over with you, if she has unresolved feelings about gender identity.
     
  5. Linus

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    in my opinion, being trans can literally be as simple as saying "I'm trans." Not for all, but for some. If she wants to be a man, she can just say so, without having to express herself that way, if she has no desire to.
     
  6. Kasey

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    If she said that much to you, then just outright ask her. If she brought up dysphoria and other things, she has been thinking about this a lot. To me this seems like one of those times it is ok to ask.

    And I don't hate my body but when I saw these outsider transgender women come to the GSA one afternoon I was immediately triggered. It is more of an extreme social dysphoria that occasionally crosses into physical. Am I transsexual? No. I can put on fake breasts and cover my genitals. So I can appear female. Would I like real breasts and a vagina yea.

    But people have already said, be who you are. There is no wrong way to identify as transgender in any part of the spectrum.

    The more examples and opinions you hear from people the more you realize things aren't so black and white.
     
    #6 Kasey, Sep 13, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2015
  7. Willa

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    You don't have to have "soul-crushing dysphoria" to be trans, and lots of trans people choose not to transition medically and/or surgically. It doesn't make them any less trans. It just means that they are trans and are still comfortable with their bodies. If anything, that's a blessing. Your sibling is trans. However, they will come into their identity in their own time. Everyone's journey is different. Maybe take them to a support meeting with you.