Helping Little Bro Come Out

Just be yourself, be out and proud, and be a supportive brother. Assuming he's gay, he'll come out to you or to the world when he's ready.

I have younger cousins on both sides who I suspect are gay (one of them told me he's at least a little bi), but I'm not pushing them at all. All I can do is hope that they see my coming-out as an example of how accepting the family is and how great it feels to come out. I'd suggest handling your brother the same way

 

I have a cousin who is bisexual and an aunt who is a lesbian and then me I'm gay, and I'm sure there are more closeted people in my family but there are a few who you can't help but assume are gay. But I would be lying if I didn't laugh hysterically when you said he worshipped Lady Gaga :lol:

Anyways, you need to just give him time to figure himself out. You're outanf that's great, but it must be hard for him to come out to family given that you're also gay, so like I said you just need to give him time and he'll come around. But you should just make sure that you keep on showing him the support he may need. Best to luck

 

If he's 17 he still might be figuring himself out. Just give him time and be supportive of him.

 

Do you ever go out together? Maybe bowling, or something like that? Spending some time with him might help to break the ice and bring you closer together. It doesn't mean he will come out to you any time soon, but it's a way of demonstrating that you want to be there for him and want to spend time with him, it may also help to relieve some of the inner sadness you describe. If he sees you in a social way and realises how very normal it is to be gay it might just help him to open up and talk to you a bit more.

You are doing great. Don't force the issue though.

 

He could just be feminine boy you never know

 

FWIW I'm not really feminine but loved House Bunny. It was legitimately great!

As for helping him come out, I wouldn't force the issue until you know for sure. But asking simply would be a little too direct if he prefers his sexuality to be his own business. Maybe you're right in assuming if he is, he's not ready to be out with it, so you can just let it go for now.

If he is gay and is as effeminate as you describe, he's doing a terrible job of hiding it lol.

 

As others have said, just give him time to come out on his own (assuming he's not straight).

One thing that popped to mind when readin this - a couple of times on EC, I've seen guys post something to the effect that, even though one of their relatives (including a brother) is gay and out and the whole family is fine with it, they still struggle to come out because they feel that (one of the following):

a) It is their responsibililty to carry on the family name - or their parents would be disappointed because if they come out there will be no hope of carrying on the family name.

b) If they come out too, the chance of grandchildren from a son goes away entirely.

c) While their parents/family handled one sibling coming out just fine, they feel that it was still somehow a negative that was survived and they don't want to subject the family to that again.

d) They think the family will just see it as trying to get attention by emulating the sibling or other family member.

e) They think the family will blame the sibling or other family member for 'turning them gay' and don't want the family to think that.

f) Even though they know intellectually that everyone in the family will be fine with it, they still struggle emotionally with the idea of actually coming out due to negative societal notions about LGBT.

Now, obviously I don't know all the details of your family situation, but figured it couldn't hurt to throw these possibilities out there for consideration, especially when considering the sense of sadness you get from him.

Ultimately, and as others have said, just be yourself, be a good and supportive brother to him, and let him come out in his own time and at his own pace. Although, if any of the above resonate, and if your family has already privately discussed the possibility that he might be gay, perhaps it wouldn't be a bad thing for them to make it clear that they see your orientation as a non-issue or as a positive thing and that issues of family name or grandkids or whatnot aren't an issue (assuming they aren't).

Just some thoughts,

Todd