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Christianity and being transgender

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by Marcy, Oct 25, 2015.

  1. Marcy

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    My girlfriend of 4 months just told me that he is a guy. We think we can continue in our relationship through his transition, but I'm religious and kinda concerned. My general policy is that if I'm not part of a group, I don't pass judgement or discriminate because those people understand better than I do. I have no issues with trans people, and I really want to just love my partner regardless of his gender. Can someone who is familiar with the Bible help me square my beliefs with my partner's gender identity?
     
  2. DinelodiiGitli

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    I was once Christian and back then never had any issues with trans people.
    To my knowledge there's nothing in the Bible that goes against it anymore than homosexuality. I always believed God loved all people and made them the way they were for a reason. Trans people were trans because they were meant to be.
     
  3. Marcy

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    I don't have a problem with the fact that he wants to be seen as male, but I am concerned about changing one's body surgically. I have another trans friend who is transitioning and I have no problem with, but it's something about this person being the one I'm intimate and sexually active with and plan on spending the rest of my life with that makes me concerned about it. I had just barely figured out how to accept my own lesbian identity with my religion and now all the rules have been blurred again.
     
  4. DinelodiiGitli

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    Honestly I never saw it as anything different than say a child having a dangerous or potentially problematic birth defect corrected.
     
  5. Aldrick

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    If you are concerned about what is Biblical, the Bible says nothing about trans* people. Simply put, it can't, as it's impossible for it to do so. Our understanding of what it means to be trans* is modern, and every part of the Bible was written LONG before we had any understanding of what it meant to be transgender--as we'd understand it.

    This question is somewhat comparable to asking what the Bible has to say on epilepsy. The Bible on that topic would claim that they are possessed by a demon and need an exorcism. However, that is only because that is what was believed prior to our modern understanding of epilepsy. The Bible says EVEN LESS on being transgender.

    Of course, different sects of Christianity have their own opinions, but none of those are actually based on Biblical precedent. Someone could argue, for example, that modifying the body is against the will of God, and cite the prohibition against tattoo's or something as evidence. Leviticus 19:28, "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD." That's silly, of course, and most Christians don't even know that verse exists and even if they do, they don't listen to it. (Like pretty much all of Leviticus, except when it comes to gay people.)

    The general argument Christians make against people who are transgender and are seeking to transition, is that it's somehow against God's will based on how he made them. They'd claim that it was somehow immoral to change God's creation. Which is a ridiculous claim, as we tamper with our bodies all the time, taking drugs, amputating parts of our bodies when necessary such as our appendix, laser eye surgery to correct vision problems, etc. We also modify the created world around us, turning wheat into flour, engaging in all sorts of chemistry--fuck our entire modern world is based upon tampering with the world around us. So the "leave things as God created them" argument falls flat in a million different ways.

    Basically, if you are going strictly Biblical, there would be nothing against your boyfriend transitioning to male. However, there would be a change in your relationship. You would be subservient to him, as he would be a male and you would be female. That is more or less the only way things head for you Biblically speaking. He is the head of the household, and you are subservient to him.
     
  6. bubbles123

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    The way I think of it is maybe he wasn't born in the right body, but God created him and made him a boy at least inside.
    I'm not going to get into the whole Why does God make peoples' lives hard? You may even have your own personal beliefs on that.
    But anyway, even though your boyfriend is transgender and that's not easy, maybe he was born in this time for a reason. He was born into this world and this time where transition surgery is possible so that he can have the happy life he wants in the body he wants.
    And God doesn't want people to have miserable lives. He wants us to be able to love ourselves the way we are. Many have a hard time with this because of self-esteem issues. But this is different because it's gender dysphoria. It can't be fixed by being more confident or trusting in the way your body was made. And if transition surgery is the only way to allow this person to feel like their true self, then maybe that's what God would want.

    I'm sorry if I made any assumptions about your personal beliefs here, but I hope this helped and maybe could give you a new way of looking at it.
     
  7. Florestan

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    Aldrick is right that the Bible doesn't say anything about trans people. The verse people will try to use against it is Genesis 1:27 ("male and female he created them"), but that's just a statement about Adam and Eve, not a divine command for all time.

    The other argument against it is based on the idea that the way you're born is the way God meant you to be. The problem there is that we're willing to perform surgery to correct heart defects or other medical problems at birth. But when a transgender person is enduring terrible psychological pain because of the way they were born, people think that's somehow a rebellion against God's will.

    When I look at the things I've experienced, I cannot believe for a moment that a loving God would want me to continue feeling like a shadow of my true self. Would he make me transgender, just so he could watch me suffer for the rest of my life? If there's a way to ease that suffering, would he forbid me from escaping?
     
  8. baconpox

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    In Matthew Jesus refers to "natural born eunichs" which some have interpreted to be about accepting transgender people.

    There are some passaged against feminine men (Deut 23:17-18; 1 Kings 14:24; 15:12; 22:46; 2 Kings 23:7; cf. Job 36:14), but those can mostly be defined out of existence even more than the ones about homosexuality can.

    Other than that, the bible doesn't say much.
     
  9. RavenTheRat

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    Hmm.......
    I always thought that it was more important to honor the roots than the leaves.

    The roots of Christianity are to love one and another (at least that's what I've gathered).

    Of course, if you honor the bible that is perfectly fine.
    In terms of anything against trans people in the bible, I've never heard of any. To be honest, the only thing I've heard in the bible against the lgbt is the one line about not bedding with a man as you would with a women.
    It's probably going to be hard accepting this, well I mean it will, but you're a wonderful person for wanting to love your partner no matter what- and we need more people like you, my friend. You have no idea how much it means to trans people to see that people will accept them as they are- as in, it means a ton.

    This is my own personal advice, understand. I understand you may believe differently, but here's my two cents:
    Ask yourself if YOU believe your god would see this as bad. Take what you will from the bible, take it's lessons. The bible didn't have an entire chapter on hating the lgbt. The bible had chapters on loving and respecting one another.

    So in a nutshell; you're fine, hun. I wish you very well <3
     
    #9 RavenTheRat, Oct 26, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2015
  10. looking for me

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    Jesus said, "Love one another, as I have loved you" there are no caviates in that.

    i dont have the chapter and verse but Matthew said, neither male, female, nor unich are different before the Lord. meaning God loves all of us just as he made us.

    Paul said that as Christians we were not bound by the old testaments as Jewish people are.

    i'm parapharsing some of this but i do believe i am speaking truth.
     
  11. baconpox

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    Nobody's forcing you to stay with him. Or you could stay with him but not sleep with him.
     
  12. Marcy

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    So far I haven't been able to find anything in the New Testament that relates to being transgender, though there were a few in the Old Testament, but I don't value the those as much as I would if they were in the New Testament. I think it's going to take me some time to fully convince myself that there's nothing against it because I keep being convinced one minute and concerned the next.
     
  13. SemiCharmedLife

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    I have a friend who's deeply involved with the Gay Christian Network. Their website may have some resources for you.
     
  14. looking for me

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    try this. there were no words for transgender in the first century, this would have been about as close in understanding as would be available to the writers of Matthew.

    Matthew 19:12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others--and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should acce
     
  15. Willa

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    One of the biggest arguments against the acceptance of transgender people is "God makes no mistakes."

    This is true. God doesn't make mistakes. The thing is, your boyfriend was meant to be born female. But that doesn't mean he was meant to stay that way. It means that this transition is something he is meant to experience. God intends him to discover himself, to fight to be who he is, and to emerge victorious.

    The Bible actually says zip squat about trans people.
     
  16. IDont Say Aboot

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    I think this may have been said already, but it's late so I won't read every post.

    The Bible doesn't say one sentence about transgender people, so the only argument transphobic people use when "using the bible" is their method of choice is "Well God created them that way so that's how they're meant to be."

    To these thoughts and people I say "Really? So that must imply that you are against organ transplants, because God wants people to die by the defected kidney they were born with? That's how they were born after all. Or perhaps the people who are born susceptible to cancer shouldn't get treated when they get cancer, and just die?" Those are essentially the same thing.
     
  17. Secrets5

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    There are some religious people who believe this, and then there are some people who believe this for themselves but not others. Then there's people who don't believe this at all.
     
  18. GlindaRose

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    There seems to be a separate issue in here besides religion. You're worried about him changing his body surgically because it blurs the rules of your lesbian identity. I'm going to address this separately from the religion part of the equation.

    Ultimately, relationships are about love. If the two of you are in love, then there is no reason why you should not continue to do so after he transitions. If you think that him altering his body will cause you to stop being attracted to him, then that's an issue you're going to need to address and you will need to make a decision on whether you could stay with him without the sexual attraction.

    If you find that you are still sexually attracted to him after transition, it's understandable that you will be confused about your identity that you thought you'd already defined. That's fine. It is allowed to change. But it's also fine to remain unsure. The most important thing is that you are with someone out of love, regardless of any labels attached to your identity.

    Best of luck. :slight_smile:
     
  19. Open Arms

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    A basic Christian principle is to live an honest, authentic life. This would apply in this case.

    This must be very difficult for you because just after you identify as lesbian, your girlfriend says "I'm actually a guy and want to transition". This is HUGE. What an adjustment for you! Are you going to want sex with a male?

    Are you worried about how your family and church will take this?

    Do you feel somewhat betrayed in that you weren't told this right off the bat?
     
  20. ConnectedToWall

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    I know right! According to Leviticus eating hot dogs would be a sin because pigs are considered unclean. It's so annoying how all these homophobes choose to ignore all of Leviticus except the parts about homosexuality.
    As far as I know, there's nothing in the bible about transgender people.