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This is probably none of my bussiness but...

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by Secrets5, Nov 24, 2015.

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  1. Secrets5

    Secrets5
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    My younger brother ...

    Hello,

    It's probably, well, it's none of my business but the way that he's acting makes me think that he's confused or mainly scared to say anything ... wow, I actually care about my younger brother, that's new.

    Anyway, but I've got reason for this;

    1. He uses 'gay' and the F insult as a 'joke'
    2. He constantly asks if I'm gay [and when I say 'no, are you?' he shuts up]
    3. When we're having a conversation about me getting a boyfriend, he said ''I bet I'll get a boyfriend before you'' but corrected himself [after my Mum's face looked shocked and didn't look too accepting]
    4. He's serious he doesn't want children and tries to drift off the conversation when my Mum says ''what if your girlfriend wants children?'' or ''You'll feel differently when you find a woman you love''.

    So, in any sexuality he is how to get him to feel he doesn't need to disguise what he is by potentially hurting others [#1]?

    Oh, and this one would help us both, what to do if our Mum's not accepting [and have no idea how Dad will react]? I'm 18 soon, but he's only 14.

    NOTE: I'm not asking you to tell me if you think he's gay or not. I have concluded that is definitely not my business, but I'd like to be prepared on ways to help him if he is scared or confused about anything.

    Thank-you.
     
    #1 Secrets5, Nov 24, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2015
  2. Connorcode

    Connorcode Guest

    If he is, then be there for him; prove him with the opportunity to be open with you. Allow him to be himself, whether that is through you spending time with him or introducing him to a safe community like EC.
    Be his friend and help him, as you should do for someone you care about and who's in need.
     
    #2 Connorcode, Nov 24, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 24, 2015
  3. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    The love and support of a sibling makes the world of difference, I promise you. If he knows that you support him, no matter what happens with your parents, it will help him to walk taller and feel more confident. Your reaction could also help to sway your parents, so don't underestimate your role in all of this.

    Gather as much information as you can from organisations like FFLAG (see following link) Home because this will help in any family discussions/conversations.
     
    #3 PatrickUK, Nov 27, 2015
  4. guitar

    guitar
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    I'm with Patrick, letting him know you love him and support him whether he is gay, straight, or somewhere in between will make all of the difference in the world.

    As for his sexuality, it's anyone's guess. 14 is a weird time because you're brand new to the world of raging hormones and what to do with them. It's doubly as confusing if you're LGBT because you have that added dimension of your sexuality not being "normal," and coming out can potentially get you disowned, bullied, etc. He also may still be working out exactly what his sexuality is. I didn't know for certain until my early 20s.

    My recommendation would be to give him space and time to work through his sexuality, but make it known you support LGBT people and topics should they come up.
     
    #4 guitar, Nov 28, 2015
  5. Secrets5

    Secrets5
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    I think ''love'' is a bit far, let's put it as ''I'll always be his totally annoying sibling ready to bug him about any boy/girlfriend he gets - unless it's a serious relationship''. Once I know my parent's accepting, of course, we'll deal with them first.

    Alright, I don't talk to him much anyway, so giving space will be easy. I'll try to fit in some ''sociological'' conversations in support.
     
    #5 Secrets5, Nov 28, 2015
  6. Gay1234

    Gay1234
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    By all means if he is gay like all the others said be there for him. He may be just confused at his age. Just let him come out to you in his own time I he is gay as it is his own choice and just let him know that it changes nothing and that you are there for him.
     
    #6 Gay1234, Nov 28, 2015
  7. europeanguy

    europeanguy
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    number 3 really gives a BIG reveal about it, sounds as if he unconciously said what he thought...happens to all of us but this one seems to give it away. just my opinion on the matter but i wouldnt confront him about it as he seems to not be feeling all that secure with it yet
     
    #7 europeanguy, Dec 14, 2015
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