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my sister went snooping, i don't know what to do

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by ruby421, Nov 26, 2015.

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  1. ruby421

    ruby421
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    so my sis saw i was on a lgbt chatroom and instead of first asking me she went snooping in my history, i know this since there was lgbt sites that had been opened while i was away, so naturally i am pissed but also worried, she must know now...but the site that were open was sites i had about gender not sexuality..i could deal with her asking about my sexuality but i cant deal with gender questions cause honestly i am very confused about it.

    i also share everything with her so the fact that she just asked if chatzy was a chatroom and said nothing else worries me, i figured she would be pissed to know that i kept this from her...but maybe she doesnt realize it yet..i dont know what to do, she is pretty up front with stuff..and i told her it was a chatroom and she didnt say anything else, i acted unfazed by it, but i did change the topic quick,

    i want to tell her but i dont have everything figured out, should i say something, or just let her have some time with whatever she saw in my history (nothing to bad btw)
    :help:
     
    #1 ruby421, Nov 26, 2015
  2. jmccorm4

    jmccorm4
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    If you are honestly uncertain about your gender identity then you really have nothing to explain to your sister.

    It sounds better to wait until you are certain about your gender identity before saying anything that might not be true. Don't feel like she deserves an answer that you do not yet have about yourself even when that time comes it will remain your business until you decide to come out.

    Basically I would not feel obligated to explain anything to anyone who opened and read my journal for instance.
     
    #2 jmccorm4, Nov 26, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2015
  3. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Hey I'm sorry you are in this situation.

    I suppose it all comes down to what you feel most comfortable with or even less awkward with. You aren't obliged to do or say anything it is no ones business but yours. The way I see it there are a couple of options.

    1. Do nothing and see what happens.

    2. Talk to her and say you are sorry you've been keeping it from her but that it's been confusing and you wanted to get it a bit clearer in your head before talking to her. Then. You can just explain that you have been questioning a few things but you are still not sure.

    3. You could make up something about looking something up for a friend etc.

    It's entirely up to you what you choose and you know your sister best. I think if you are usually close and you feel like you can't tell her about it even a little bit it might be the best way as long as you can trust her to keep it to herself. I think the problem with option 1 is it is the Unknown, you say your sister is pretty upfront so even if you ignore it there is no guarantee she will. I wouldn't worry about the fact you haven't told her yet I am sure she will understand.
     
    #3 silverhalo, Nov 27, 2015
  4. Gay1234

    Gay1234
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    I'm giving a thumbs up o the above posts as they give all the help you would vet need. U don't need to say anything as you are questioning and no sure yet. I'm sure this was said before so I'm just here to say don't worry about it and good luck :slight_smile:
     
    #4 Gay1234, Nov 28, 2015
  5. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

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    I think since you're normally so open with her, the fact that you're not opening up about this yet is probably sending the message to her that you aren't ready (assuming she knows/suspects it) and if that's the case, she'll probably respect that but still be open and there for you when and if you want to tell her about it.
    Either way though, like the other posters said you don't owe her an explanation right now. You take your time and if you're not ready to talk about it, you're not.
     
    #5 bubbles123, Dec 13, 2015
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