my sister won't tell, even though I did

This is about family, specifically my sister.

My sister and I both realized that we were not straight separately. Eventually we had a heart to heart and discovered that I was gray-asexual and that she was bisexual. There was little fanfare and we both agreed that telling our very Catholic parents before we moved out was a bad idea. Because even though we had a gay relative that our parents were (somehow despite everything) okay with, we both knew that "it's different when it's your kid" was a possibility.

Near the time that I was to move out, Mom found out about me. We talked and I didn't get kicked out. Mom did a bit of research and we talked again. I think Dad may (have) know(n) something, but he seems fine with ignoring things.

Years later, my sister nearing the time to leave home and has a large interest in queer activism. She has not said anything on the subject to our family and I agreed not to tell. I think that she doesn't understand that our family is more accepting than we gave them credit for. She really does seem to want to think the worst of them and I don't think she'll ever tell them.

I can't tell my parents or seem to convince my sister, so I'm more or less stuck. Between the two hard-headed individuals of my family (my sister and Mom). Any advice?

 

I do support her and I know that I can't tell on her. Its just that she only sees the worst, and in a few cases its the best, in people. She has a "narrow vision" that everyone in my family notices. I'm not and will not tell her to say something, I just want don't want her to see it as an impossibility.

 

Wait, what? What gave that impression? This is asking help on the if or how of telling our family, not about getting her to accept herself. Believe me, she is way past that.

 

...I guess. I am not normal as a queer. She never seemed to want to talk about me as another "queer" after I told her I was gray-asexual. Even less when I told her I was an aromantic. She introduced the concept of romantic orientation and asexuality to me, but she got most of that from her circle of "normal" queer friends. As a "normal" queer person.

But I am serious when I say that my sister has a narrow vision of our family, too. She only sees the worst in our family and can't consider telling them.