anyone can help me understand? my gay sister says she cant love my unborn son

Umm that's awful of your sister to say, was she serious when she said it?? I am gay and I don't hate men at all, there are lots of men I like/love, they are just human beings like women, how can anyone say they 'hate men'? It's ridiculous. It's like saying you hate black people or gays. That's really gross of your sister to say...I dont really know what to say.

 

I'm gay and I don't hate men. I love my Dad and my brother, I just have no sexual attraction to men.

She sounds more like a misandrist and is using her sexuality as an excuse. To say she will hate her nephew without even knowing him is awful and sounds more like she has some issue unrelated to being gay. Even straight women can hate men (usually due to bad experiences with men), so It's not her sexuality that's her issue. So sorry!

 

Hm, I don't hate men. Lots of my friends are guys. I used to be afraid of boys when I was really little, but I'm not anymore. I'd say most lesbians don't hate men; if they do, it's probably a problem unrelated to their sexuality.

 

Wow and Ouch! I don't know what to say!

 

I hope your son will have males in his life , but I can't really say what I'm thinking about your sister...I might get banned from here. I hope you have other relatives...

 

Your sister has some issues. Please don't blame her attitude on us lesbians. I have a son, and I would personally kill anyone who tried to harm him. I had absolutely no problem loving my son, or my male friends either.

Your sister really needs some help if she thinks that hating males makes her a lesbian.

 

maybe your sister has a lot of bad experience about boys, just try to understand her and help her realize that not all the guys out there are bad. sooner or later she can accept your son, your family after all. just trust her and don't lose hope that someday she will open her mind as well as her heart to accept your baby boy Spread love

 

Why would she say something like that?!
Maybe she was saying it in a jokingly manner in the sense of her being gay and not actually meaning she won't love him because after all he will be her little nephew so she'll be bound to fall in love with him sooner or later

 

That sounds awful. Was it serious? When you're pregnant the hormones do tend to make you over-react to things. I could see someone saying it as a joke though.

One thing - could there be an underlying fear/regret that given her sexuality having children, though possible, isn't going to be as easy as for straight people. Maybe she's jealous, maybe it hurts her to see you pregnant, maybe she wants kids herself but knows it's not going to be simple.

 

First of all: Congratulations both for the pregnancy and for the interest you showed to understand your sister.

As you can imagine, "being gay" isn't a synonym of "I hate man/woman".
It is more like
"I love the same gender and I don't give a *** about what the opposite gender do"

Kidding.

I think you should understand what is the true reason underneath her affirmation, that isn't linked with her sexual orientation.

 

Yeah, being anywhere on the LGBT spectrum will not escuse bigotry and prejudice. I'm a lesbian and my two best friends are men. I love them like brothers and trust only them enough to even know my sexuality. There's just no sexual/romantic attraction involved.

Your sister must have some kind of other issues with men. Try to talk to her about it if you can, and if she truly makes you uncomfortable it is entirely possible to simply not hold up as much contact with her. Put yourself first and do not let your sister represent even a tiny portion of your view on homosexuals.

 

Was she sexually assaulted or did she witness it growing up? The only time I really ever seen females with a gender hate have a background.

 

Hm, that's strange. I know plenty of gay women, and they don't hate men. I myself am pansexual, but this sounds to me like your sister has some deep rooted issues regarding her relationships with men. Perhaps there's some deep seeded resentment based on past experiences?

 

Jumping off what everyone else is saying I tend to agree that there is an underlying problem. I know a lot of LGBT+ people and they don't hate the opposite gender. It may come as a shock, but it's possible that your sister was raped or beaten. Now she is projecting her hurt feelings and resentment towards a target group which would be men. Now this is all just an assumption so I wouldn't jump the gun, but some something is definitely up unrelated to her sexual orientation.

 

Yeah.not a normal reaction tbh. I would go with "that's ok. I'll love him enough for both of us. And he'll love you anyway because you will be his aunt"
And leave it at that...