Daughter 'thinks' she is gay? Advice please!

At that young an age she probably is still legitimately not sure. I'm 16 and I don't even know if I'm gay or bisxual yet. Just give her some time and let her sort it out. If you can help then do it, but don't force the topic onto her in a way that makes her uncomfortable.

 

Some people a know at different times..
People here new they were gay from 6-60 years old

Just think about when you knew you were into guys and then relate it to her..

Being LGBT can be difficult to except

 

What Plattyrex and SillyGoose said, although I'd like to add that it's really, really great that you're being so supportive, she's a very lucky girl to have parents like you. A lot of people on here unfortunately do not.

If she doesn't want to talk about it then yeah, maybe don't really bring it up for a while, although if you are considering the move then I suppose that asking her opinion, especially in relation to her orientation, is pretty imperative.

She may be sure or she may not - some people know their sexual orientation at a young age, some people are like me (not realising until about a year ago), and other people are much older and still don't really know. Personally, I think that as long as she knows that you will support her, that is the most important thing.

Addition: If she is nervous to identify then maybe it would help to subtly bring in positive LGBTQ+ things? You said that she's already had some positive experiences and that is great, but the more the merrier and all that. For me, finding this site has reminded me that I am not so alone, so maybe introducing a supportive community (if you can find one) might help?

 

Yeah, that too. It should hopefully be much less stressful for her since she knows you're supportive.

 

Re: 10 year old DD says she thinks she is gay...

What's a DD?

 

Re: 10 year old DD says she thinks she is gay...

Who really cares what she labels herself as just support her no matter what and don't bother with needlessly stressing

 

Re: 10 year old DD says she thinks she is gay...

I think it means that she is probably suspecting something... noticing things... and questioning herself.

I'd think that it would just be good to support her, and not pressure a label.

 

Re: 10 year old DD says she thinks she is gay...

That you accept her as a parent is awesome. I wouldn't underestimate what she says. Maybe curious or trying to understand. As a male by ten I knew I was bisexual. She might very well know for herself. Keep the communication and support open between the two of you number one. I understand your worries within a community. My immediate family would have no problem. The main reason I'm Shhh is the small town BS. I feel your feelings on that but wish I had a better answer to give.

 

Accept and be supportive as you have been. I understand the community that is mean and moving to make better. The main reason my sexuality is Shhhhh is a small town. Don't underestimate her feelings at 10. By 10 myself I knew very well that little girls and boys were cute! I don't think there is anywhere to 100% protect someone from being made fun of or persecuted. Be open and supportive, discuss and cover sexual health, and love your daughter!

 

I mean she is quite young. However even at that age I myself had feelings and thoughts that made me question who I was. At 12 years I basically knew I was gay, I just wouldn't let myself believe it.

Just let her figure things out for a while, be as supportive as possible and discuss the matter with her if she feels comfortable enough to do so. Make sure she isn't scared of being herself. If she feels like she has to hide who she is, then maybe it would be better for her to live somewhere where people are more accepting of LGBT if there is a possibility for you to move.

 

It could mean just that: she's questioning, but suspects she leans in that direction.

It could also mean she's certain she's gay, but is treading the waters, and seeing how you respond before going further.

Suppose she isn't? That's still not a bad move to make. Why would you want to be surrounded by bigots? It would give you the chance to learn and feel safe (because those against LGBT usually have other dangerous views).

Personally, I wouldn't push it. Show that you are supportive of her (and willing to learn), so she feels more comfortable going further, if that's her wish.

And yes! Some folks are sure when they're younger, while others feel something is off, but lack the self-awareness and/or resources to claim it!

 

Re: 10 year old DD says she thinks she is gay...

I was around her age when i came out to only myself and i still haven't even told my parents, and that's a big step, so who knows how long she's been questioning to come to the conclusion to tell you now.
Maybe she is sure and is just too shy/concerned to talk with you about it or maybe she's unsure and she just doesn't want to give a clear confirmation. It might've even just been awkward wording!
Either way, i think it'd just be best to wait for her to talk to you about it or maybe just give subtle nods towards it to have her end up bringing the subject up, also, try not to force her pick labels too early if she isn't sure. After all, most of us here don't even know exactly what our labels are at the ages we're at now, so, i imagine, it could take some time before she's entirely sure on it.
Whatever she's feeling, she's lucky to have such supportive parents! It's great to see that around here!
I'd say to just make sure to keep showing her that support and, in time, she'll let you talk about it with her. Heck, she might even want to talk about it on the inside but is just scared to, i know i would want to if i'd just come out!

 

I agree with mostly everyone here. At such a young age I think the key is to not make a big deal out of it. She needs to figure this out for herself and as scary as it must be for a parent to hear these words: you cannot help her do that. What you can do is just be there for her when she comes to you to talk. But you can't force her to talk to you or it will become awkward and uncomfortable for her. You'll just have to sit quietly by and watch from teh sidelines until she approaches you herself.

 

Re: 10 year old DD says she thinks she is gay...

She's young, so she's probably not completely sure. That being said, I don't think there are that many 10 year olds who think they're gay unless they are. She'll be sure eventually, and she'll talk to you about it when she's ready. In the mean time, don't push her to choose a label, but assume that it's pretty likely that she's not straight.

 

Re: 10 year old DD says she thinks she is gay...

I suspect that she is still figuring herself out. She is able to talk about such a private and embarrassing subject is good thing.
This shows that you are a great parent. Keep doing what you're doing and everything will work out OK..

 

It's perfectly normal not to know for sure. For many/most people, certainty is something that accumulates over time.