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  1. KassiLI123

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    My son is 10 years old. He is in the fifth grade and a couple years ago he started saying he was gay. I told him that if he was I still loved him and I accept him 100% but the same rules apply ( no closed doors, no dating until you are older, etc). I wasn't sure at the age of 7-8 if he fully understood what it meant to be gay. He said "well I'm 50% gay and 50% straight. O said ok well what does that mean. He said well I like boys. I said ok you like boys like you want to kiss boys, he said oh no I like boys like I like Bella, which was his little "girlfriend" at the time. That was a couple years ago. This year has been a lot more talk of it. He keeps telling me he is gay but in the same sentence he talks about a pretty girl in class. He "asked out" one of his male friends and his friend won't talk to him anymore. He tells me he is telling everyone at school he is gay. I am just not sure that he is. I told him if he truly is than that's fine but if he isn't it could seem like he is t taking it seriously and that may offend kids in his school that actually are. He has grown up knowing that, as a family, we accept everyone for who they are. How do I proceed with him? Today at school a kid bet him $10 to ask a boy out. He did and the boy said no. My son said it was a joke. I told him he can't joke about stuff like this. Should I leave him be? He's already being bullied for saying he is gay. I'm worried he isn't gay and just going through a faze. Like I said if he really is I am on his side 1000% but if he isn't how to get him to see that he isn't being fair to people who really are struggling. Any info will help. I'm at a loss.
     
  2. Domosuke

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    1.I would enroll him in some karate/jujitsu/self defense etc. classes after school and on the weekends.

    2.Boys go through puberty this time and he might be going through a phase, so continue ot stay supportive and let him figure that out for himself.

    3.If he is being abused at school, you need to again tell him to stand up for himself, in addition to asking him to tell an adult if he is being abused.

    4.Boys will be boys, better let them have their toys. That whole bet thing is just boys being boys. Don't worry about it.
     
  3. AgenderMoose

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    Hm... With him being 10, he still is in the age of development, which may include identity. However, it is possible that he is in fact gay. I'm glad that you are taking the initiative as a supportive parent, that is extremely important in life (I never would have been able to be more confident in who I am if it weren't for supportive parents, so A+), but it seems some of his actions are...reckless?

    The problem I'm seeing here isn't necessarily a problem of his identity, it's more of a problem of poor decision making? The pretty girl thing I would not worry about (you can be gay and still appreciate attractive people of the opposite sex). What worries me is the fact that he is being so open with everyone. This is...a pretty common dilemma I've seen with kids--they're loud about...everything. You might want to sit down and talk to him about how, even though you all are supportive of him, that may not be the case with everyone.

    I've...never really had to raise a child myself, but...that's what I've concluded on the matter. I'm not sure if that's the best advice, it really breaks my heart when I give the advice to hide away one's identity (I really...really hate that being something that we've had to do...), but a lot of times, it seems like the better option. Although I'm by no means an expert in this field, I hope this helps somewhat.
     
  4. Andrew99

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    He could be bisexual or gay or maybe he is straight. I'm not sure. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
     
  5. Sassalot

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    I behaved similarly at that age and now identify as bisexual. The biggest difference is that your son has someone who is willing to allow him to be himself. Kudos, Mom! He'll figure it out a bit more in the years to come. Regardless of who he dates or how his peers react to his openess, he has support at home - and that is honestly what he needs more than anything during this phase of development.
     
  6. WanderingMind

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    Hi there! Is he familiar with the concept of bisexuality? It really would have helped me to know more about that orientation when I was ten! I'm not saying your son is bi... but understanding that for some people, attraction and romantic relationships can occur with either gender might help him figure himself out.
     
  7. SillyGoose

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    Just support him and let him figure it out