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Wondering ...

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by ShaeShay, Jun 8, 2016.

  1. ShaeShay

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 28, 2016
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Washington
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Years ago, my dad thought he might be a woman in a man's body. I was really little when he tried changing his name and dressing in women's clothes. I don't remember what went through my mind or how I felt; I could only make assumptions. The year later, when I met my twin cousins (boys), I thought they were so cool that I wanted to be the third twin. It was the age I started to be more verbal; I was a late bloomer. I made it clear to my family that I didn't want flowers or anything girly in my hair. I wanted my hair cut short and dressed in boys' clothes, which I thought I looked happier than before. Also, I wanted nothing to do with dolls; instead, I played with Hot Wheels and my brother's Nintendo. But, I also didn't like hugs because I thought I wouldn't be considered cool. My dad, however, took it personally that I didn't like him. I'm sure I didn't care what gender he was, but I know I didn't like his mood and that he often fights with my brother. Years later, my dad figured he was happier being a man. I have no recollection of this until either my mom or dad told me, but apparently I cried when my dad told me that he's going back to being a man. I don't remember what went through my mind or how I felt about it. Growing up, I still wanted to be a boy (or at least a tomboy). The first time I went bra shopping, I cried. I always hated my breasts; I wanted to be flat-chested. At times, I'd go to Maurices with my mom and her sister. I tried to dress a bit girly, but I thought it didn't fit my personality. I didn't feel comfortable wearing frilly clothes, make-up, jewelry or have a cutesy wallet. I refused to try on dresses, even when my grandmother wanted to take a picture of me wearing this big pink dress that she bought. My hair is cut short and I like it better than it was longer, and once I get the binder I ordered then I will be happy with it. I'd be happier if I change my first and middle name to something boyish, and have others perceive me as a man than a lady. I wonder ... Do I sound trans?
     
    #1 ShaeShay, Jun 8, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2016
  2. kibou97

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2016
    Messages:
    782
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Kentucky
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    With what you've specifically said in here, I think you're trans. What makes me believe this is that you want to change your name, you like wearing masculine clothes and look forward to binding, your desire to be just like other males you've encountered, and your apparent feelings towards when your father decided he would remain male. I dont think it's bad that you dont like hugs, its fairly normal. Just remember though that only you can decide exactly what you Identify as.