I am a mom to a 13 year old boy. I suspect he is pretty much likely to be a straight cis male. Not important, just an observation. I started talking to him about how mom (me) is planning to become a man. Though I know that is not correct because I have always been a man but inside a woman's body. Also not relevant but anyways... He said he is scared and doesn't want to lose his mom. I don't know how to explain it to him so he won't be scared or feel like I am going somewhere. I am just changing my body to be how it should have been to begin with. But how do I say that to a 13 year old? Any advice from those who have been in this situation would be welcome. Any advice period would be better then what I have right now and that is a lot of worry that I should just wait to transition till he is an adult, but that really makes me feel all kinds of emotions that make me depressed as hell. I am already 38 and he won't be 18 till I am 43. I know there are those who transition later, but I don't know if I can bare waiting that long. I know as adults we just learn to bare what we have to in life, I know that because I have been through enough situations which have taught me that. I just know my quality of life is not great (depression and social anxieties) right now while I wait.
Explain that he's not losing anyone, you're still you. He just has one more dad than he initially knew about. :icon_wink The way I see it, it's best not to put it off, yes. It's sort of inevitable, and the longer you wait the harder it will be to change things that you dislike. I'm not particularly adept at explanation in this case but I've heard enough to get by. To a degree, it's similar to your orientation in the fact that you can't force it to change. A straight person can't just stand up one day and say "Hey, I've weighed the options and I've decided to be gay." much as a cis person cannot do the same in that respect. Hormone imbalances at birth can lead to the brain going one way, but the body not following.
Thank you for replying. It takes a bit more to explain things to my son. He has asperger's. Essentially in our life it's just me and him. Everyone in our lives have run away. Anyways, thank you. Guess its just another thing we will work through alone.
Hang with me a minute cause this analogy might seem odd at first and greatly over simplified. But odd and simple sometimes work out pretty well. I in no way mean this in a negative connotation or derogatory, its just a different way to say it. Explain it in an automotive way. The doctor is basically like the body and paint guy at a repair shop. You just want some body work, a change of appearance. You are still the same on the inside, just the outside has been fixed up to your liking. Fenders straight, bumpers adjusted, that kind of thing. I am kind of assuming he has seen Cars or Airplanes, so the analogy might connect. That's where my line of thinking was drawn from anyways.
