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What do you folks think of doing this?

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by tgboymom, Aug 27, 2016.

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  1. tgboymom

    tgboymom
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    My kid is getting F-M top surgery on September 29th... and will recover here at my house for 4 weeks.

    I was thinking of throwing a birthday party for him. His real birthday is in September, but I was thinking of throwing some sort of party to celebrate having a new son. He thinks it would be cool and it's a good way to look at it, but do you think it's an affront in some way?

    I know it's probably more for ME to complete my acceptance, but also thought it would be good for him to know that we are accepting our new son.

    What do you think?
     
    #1 tgboymom, Aug 27, 2016
  2. Anthemic

    Anthemic
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    I think it's a WONDERFUL idea! :grin:
     
    #2 Anthemic, Aug 27, 2016
  3. faustian1

    faustian1
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    Oh God no, it's not an affront at all. Especially since he told you he likes the idea.

    A lot of people in recovery groups like AA have "birthdays," too. This doesn't seem to be out of line as an extension of that idea.

    And as you wrote, it does help you too, as a form of closure in a symbolic way.
     
    #3 faustian1, Aug 27, 2016
  4. csm123

    csm123
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    Its a lovely idea.IT will show him acceptance but more importantly it will show everyone else that you have his back and accept him.If family and friends clearly see that you accept and support him they are more likely to act as you do and support him.

    Good luck to both of you
     
    #4 csm123, Aug 27, 2016
  5. killswitch0029

    killswitch0029
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    It seems like a pretty nice idea. I say go for it
     
    #5 killswitch0029, Aug 27, 2016
  6. tgboymom

    tgboymom
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    OH COOL... so many positive responses.

    I guess I don't want to call it a birthday party because his real birthday is always going to be in Sept., but it might be gosh to call it a "coming out" party. Most everyone who will be invited knows that something is going on.... they don't know everything, but they know.

    Hmm... What kind of party should I call it on the invitations? It's probably going to be about 3 weeks after the surgery so he has time to recover and can enjoy himself to a degree.

    I told one person that it's kind of a shower for me too... I'm having a son.. .lol What would I put on invitations? Has anyone had a party like this? Way back when I was young, I had a friend who was on parole and when he completed it, I had a catered party and called it an OP (off parole) party and even invited his parole officer. I had a huge sheet cake too which read "Mike Gets Off' and it had a ball and chain on it. A LOT of people came and seemed to enjoy themselves.

    I don't know... I could have a cake made with a lot of blue decorations and put on the cake "IT'S A BOY"! There's got to be a better idea though.
     
    #6 tgboymom, Aug 27, 2016
  7. TheChainedPegasus

    TheChainedPegasus
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    It depends if your friends are LGBT-friendly, as they would come and enjoy the party, but anti-LGBT could come and ruin everything if they don't know it's for your trans boy.

    I'd say to make it a little hidden but kinda obvious. Like "Birthday of a Xyo son" or something like that, I'm bad with ideas XD

    I did not had any kind of party like that, but for the invitations, I would make jokes (kind ones of course) about him being trans by then. I have no ideas, I never met trans people XD

    I LOVE this idea, but I'm pretty sure some would be better, but I don't have any good ideas XD

    Anyway, congrats to your son and to you for your acceptance, not every parent would be that kind. (*hug*)
     
    #7 TheChainedPegasus, Aug 29, 2016
  8. I'm_Danni_x

    I'm_Danni_x
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    This is a fantastic idea! Congratulations to your son, we are hoping the best for him and his recovery :slight_smile: I was thinking of something along the lines of: "We thought we had a 'daughter', but we actually have a son." Or "we had a son all along."
     
    #8 I'm_Danni_x, Aug 29, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2016
  9. LeticiaTheLesbo

    LeticiaTheLesbo
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    Love this idea!
     
    #9 LeticiaTheLesbo, Aug 29, 2016
  10. Chiroptera

    Chiroptera
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    Wow, this is really wonderful!

    I hope everything goes well! :slight_smile:
     
    #10 Chiroptera, Aug 29, 2016
  11. tgboymom

    tgboymom
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    Very good ideas. I think the guest.... no.... wait. I'm SURE the guest list just got shortened drammmmmmmmmmatically today. I have the feeling this is going to be more like a nice dinner out. My entire family just got cut, including his godmother. :frowning2:

    Well.. I can still get a cool cake and 5 of us will have a good time.
     
    #11 tgboymom, Aug 29, 2016
  12. Maurice88

    Maurice88
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    So sorry to hear this, but it's better to know it before the party. The celebration sounds wonderful even so.
     
    #12 Maurice88, Sep 10, 2016
  13. ABeautifulMind

    ABeautifulMind Banned

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    I had to laugh when I read the Mike Got Off line about the cake. IDK if the euphemism was intended, but if not its even funnier....

    anyways, this is an awesome idea, but can you clear something up before I go too far thinking on ideas? Do people know he is trans? would making seperate invites for those who dont know be out of the question? You said people know something is up but not everything, but is that everyone you plan on inviting or just some? If you put the symbol where they combine the male and female symbol into one, would the invitees get the picture?

    As for what to call it, maybe something like, a final transition party or something... IDK, I am not trans and have never met someone who is in real life, so I honestly do not know what is and is not offensive (other than things that are obviously offensive)...

    No matter what, I think the idea is great because of what it will mean to YOU AND YOUR SON.
     
    #13 ABeautifulMind, Sep 10, 2016
  14. tgboymom

    tgboymom
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    That party for my friend, Mike. ... the cake read MIKE GETS OFF and it had a ball and chain on it. It was hillarious! yes.. it was done on purpose, but I'm older now and maybe I should behave in a matter befitting my age. SNICKER

    Well.. our guest list was just decimated as I've learned that my family of supposed 'Christians' feel that their faith just doesn't apply to the folks that Jesus welcomed and i'll have NONE OF ThAT around my kid. So.. we went from a party of 40 to a party of 9 or 10. I shall have NO ONE question my child's faith now that he needs it the most. I will ahve NOTHING AND NO ONE put him down, question his decision to transition or anything else or J will end up having to bail ME out of jail after I throw the first punch!

    He will still be healing so I want nothing but positivity around him. I want congratulatory sentiments and happy faces....and no republicans to start a political rant. It's just this sort of thing that just had me delete my family from my life. My kid is a great kid.. .no drugs, law abiding, very talented artistically aw weell w musically.

    So...the party has become smaller, but I think he'll love it!!!! :slight_smile:
     
    #14 tgboymom, Sep 10, 2016
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