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My transgender daughter no problems so far at school

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by Caringmom, Sep 4, 2016.

  1. Caringmom

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    Good Morning everyone how is everyone doing this weekend .I wanted to share to you i posted a few weeks ago i was concern about sending my 12 transgender daughter back to public school .So this past week there was no problems what so every and so far her school has kept there word about keeping my child safe from bullies but as a mom i worry everyday .My daughter did happen to me a new classmate a female that has accepted her as transgender which is good because my daughter really does not have to many friends at all

    I was wondering if anyone can answer compare to last week at her school so far with no problems .Then this past March when i had to take my daughter out of school to get her home schooling for 3 months because lots of problems because lots of bullying .Does anyone thing that her school did there homework on transgender during the summer .My daughter is the only transgender student .Is it wise as a mom and a parent to keep asking her principal once a week how things are going or should i ask everyday

    So as i sit here and write this i took my daughter her first bra shopping trip 2 weeks ago before school started .i know she does not have breast but i wanted to help her in her transition .I will not stop for helping my daughter in transition into a female

    The one thing i need advice about is my daughter wants to start wearing dresses and skirts and tights to school and 2 inch heels to school .She gets upset that i say no because she keeps saying well girls are allow to wear them why not me

    So do i buy her a pair of 2 inch heels and allow her to wear them to school and if i buy them should i have her practice in them first .

    I hate to say no to her but as her mom i am trying to look out for her and my feeling is i need to take baby steps with her transition .Take care and any advice that anyone can give me it would help .

    Have a safe and great weekend
     
  2. wolf of fire

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    First of all can I just say how great you are and how lucky your daughter is to have you. My advice if you get her heels let her practice wearing them before she goes out in them, they're not as easy as they look lol. You said you said that you're no letting her wear dresses and stuff to school, can I ask why not?
     
  3. RavenWing

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    I don't know about 2 inch heels at the age of 12. Perhaps start her off with a small heeled shoe and work up to a 2 inch heeled shoe? Practice makes perfect, so that'll help, too.
     
  4. anthracite

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    I think 2 inches is a bit high for that age. Yeah, she's a girl bit she's also 12. Maybe let her experiment with some basic make up (so no contouring, extreme lipstick or smokey eyes).
     
  5. wolf of fire

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    This only just occurred to me; when she is old enough get her on this site if you are okay with her being here that is (may get awkward may not, but she has a year before the staff will let her on.)
     
  6. baconpox

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    You should probably go for shorter heels at her age, but if you do let her wear them, you should definitely have her practice. Wearing high heels can be dangerous, you don't want her to twist her ankle or anything.

    Good luck to you and your daughter.
     
  7. iiimee

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    You sound like a great parent! Sorry, had to get that out of the way first. XD

    Now, as for her wearing dresses, skirts and heels... I'd say that it should probably be fine, so long as you personally talk to the principal and staff to make sure they all understand and will look out for her, try to make sure SHE understands that if she's ever worried about a bully that she should tell you or a trusted staff member, and definitely, DEFINITELY... don't let her wear 2 inches. Sorry, but no 12 year old should have 2 inch heels, trans or not. XD Try small heels, especially since this is a school and dressing in very elaborate clothes isn't a good idea for school- If she wants a pair of slightly higher heels on the weekend then she can have those for her birthday, or just whenever you have the money for it and want to get her something nice. :/ I am a high school student who came out in middle school, and I can tell you honestly that not all staff members will inform you about what happens to your kid in middle school, even if it's serious. That's why it is VERY important you make sure she knows to tell you and any adult she feels is okay to tell and can do something. If the teacher in that class isn't accepting, she can ask to speak to the principal or school counselour about bullies- I don't know how it is at her school, but at mine anyone could see a school counselour or principal at any time if it was important.

    One thing I will have to warn you about though, is clubs. I had to quit a club I was on in 8th grade, partly because I had suffered some trauma and lost a lot of my skill in it, but also because the coach and all the team members constantly misgendered me and made me feel like I wasn't accepted. If she wants to be on a club then she shouldn't be afraid to, but she should know that there's a real possibility she won't have the same protections she has during in-school hours after-school. Now, she'll still have the same amount of protections PHYSICALLY, but socially I find most trans people do face some form of discrimination in clubs unless the school is super, super liberal and has a zero tolerance policy for bullying... but if she wants to join a club, I hope you'll let her: Clubs were still very fun for me in middle school and now high school, and I couldn't imagine surviving school without the support I was given from my clubs.

    Oh c'mon, I got smokey eyes from the time I was 12! XD Heh, then again, I always did theatre and costume makeup stuff, so...
     
    #7 iiimee, Sep 16, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2016
  8. Caringmom

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    I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the makeup ideas you gave my daughter .She loves everything I got her and it's really her own makeup that she does not have to use mine .So again thank you so much
     
  9. RavenWing

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    You're welcome! I'm glad that I am able to do some good in the world, no matter how big or how small. (*hug*) I hope that school is going well for your daughter! When she is 13 I'd recommend making an account for her to use and ask questions to members of the community! It has helped me a lot!
     
  10. RavenTheRat

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    Dresses and skirts are fabulous and she should have fun with them ^^
    As for heels, I've never heard of 12 year olds wearing 2 inch heels (but then again, I'm 16- an old man completley out of touch with the younger generations :wink:), but maybe try wedges instead for a start? And some shimmery eyeshadow, because eyeshadow is fabulous.