I recently befriended a person who uses they/them pronouns, and everyone has been really accepting of them. Pretty much everyone respects their pronouns, apart from my mom. She's always been really accepting of the LGBT community (my cousin is openly gay), but for some reason, no matter how much I remind her, she won't use my friend's pronouns. Obviously, this is a problem in of itself, but there's also the fact that I'm questioning and thinking about coming out as soon as I decide on my sexuality. It's making me think that she won't accept me when I come out. What should I do, both for my friend and myself?
Did you ever figure out why? Is she against trans people in general, or does she just not believe in non-binary people? The latter could be fixed with education.
May I ask.... how recently have you been bringing this around.. or at least speaking about them to your mom? I ask that because when my own child brought home other transgender people, I had a really hard time remembering to call the people "she". They both looked like girls and it would just slip out. When I realized it, I aplogized to them immediately... but most times I didn't even REALIZE it. Now.. my child is 30, and I slip up often with his birth name as well as referring to him as a her. He sat me down under to uncertain terms and told me that this offends him. He even qualified me as a mom by understand that I don't make these mistakes with malice of forethought. It just slips out!!! I'd sit down and talk to mom and ask... Mom.. if this was me, how would you behave? I think you'll kill two birds with one stone that way. I also don't know how old you and your friend are so that could have something to do with it... mom's desire to keep you like a child. One thing is for sure, you have to be you so I'm hoping you can sit down and have an adult, honest and meaningful conversation with her about misgendering your friend, and coming out to her that you are in the midst of questioning. She might surprise you! If you want her to accept OVERNIGHT.. then keep dreaming. LOL I've know for 6 years and for the past two I've been paying for every aspect of this transition. You need to know that you'll need help as well. Your MOTHER needs to know that you need help. Good luck and God be with you ps. if you decide to speak with her, please let us know.
