Update on Son's Surgery...

Hi folks:

Ok, we're a week out of the last visit and have to be back in a few days. It doesn't look as bad as it did so we can hold out until the appointment. We're following protocol to the letter. The wounds are very clean. We have two binders. I make sure there is a freshly washed one every day for the bandage changing so I know everything has been very clean from the beginning. I know this is a newer procedure so I'm thinking that it comes with it's issues.

I sat him down to talk seriously and calmly once again. He's getting antsy. I know it's hard to be away from home but I told him to be prepared for a longer stay because we have to make sure he is medically clear and the complication has been resolved before he can safely go home. He's worried about not being home to vote and a friend is coming in the second week of November and is staying through Thanksgiving. I said.. hey... if it comes down to it, I'll drive out to Tennessee to pick her up from the airport and bring her back here. There's no reason he can't have a life while he's here.

I had a party for him on Saturday. There was no family here... just a few select, supportive friends... all Democrats. I had to do that because this election is just getting him so upset and I didn't want him to get upset. It's important to heal properly. He can fight all he wants when he's healed. :lol: He was so happy that a 25 year friend of the family drove here all the way from Missouri just to see him post surgery and join us for the party. She stayed with us a few days and gave Jake lots of attention.

A friend of mine knows another TG guy here in town and I asked if she could invite him to the party. He hooked up with Jake on social media and he came with his fiance on Saturday! They got along sooooooooo well!! Oh, he's such a nice boy too. The 4 of them sat at a table and talked for hours. They are making plans to all get together while my son is still in town. I'm happy. He's got a friend locally and they have this very important thing in common! I was so happy the boy came over. After all, he didn't know if we were crazy people or not but he took a chance! lol Jake had such a good time. He got gifts and we had a cake to re-celebrate his birthday and I had the place all decorated with rainbow streamers and blue balloons with white ribbons and a giant shark balloon. I made a good buffet and everyone ate and laughed and had cake. I even took a break from the work to take a couple of guitars off the wall to play with Jake. It's been so long.

So.. that's where we are. We'll know more at the next appointment but it looks to me like there is no more necrosis and it's starting to heal. There is certainly a hell of a lot less fluid.

Thank you all for your support during this stressful time. Soon, it will be better and Jake can get on with his new life!

God Bless you all!!! (&&&)

 

Thank you so much for your support. You have no idea just how much your kind words help reduce the stress. I just want him to be ok, to be successful, and get his life in order and hopefully, I'll live long enough to see this. I can't even describe how much I love this child.

 

From your lips to God's ears... I'm praying he recovers well from this complication. I think he's getting a little tired of me making him take the amino acid drinks and supplements and the higher protein meals.. lol HEY.. every little thing all works together for healing!

---------- Post added 26th Oct 2016 at 12:41 PM ----------

I wish I could have been, but this was no easier than it is for anyone else. I should have done something sooner, but I took bad advice. No more... it's all instinct now.

 

Thank you, babydoll.

I regret getting that Mustang in blue when I was 21, I regret marrying a 40 year old at 18, I regret not finishing my degree, I regret the weight I've gained in the last year, sometimes I regret moving out of NJ but those things are NOTHING compared to regretting believing a shrink who told me my kid was "going through a phase and it would pass". I could have ended his unhappiness 5 or 6 years ago instead of 1.5 and (when I got him the testosterone) and even more so... when the despair returned.. I regret the fear I had of the surgery so I put it off for another year. I felt like I was offering my child up to be carved like a Thanksgiving turkey.... I FEARED too much. I feared the pain, complications (and we ended up with a complication), and his possible regret afterwards. I regret that. This is HUGE. I just hope that one day this 30 year old child can forgive me for my ignorance and fear.

I'm gonna tell you what I don't regret. I do not regret bullying him to come HERE to have the surgery. He was kinda pissed at first, but now understands that I needed to be sure the aftercare was optimal. Considering there is a complication, he now understands why I needed him with ME, his MOTHER, who would love him more than anyone in the entire world, who would move heaven and earth to see that he is taken care of. This.. although wrong... I don't regret. I'm ashamed.. but I told him that if he doesn't come here (he lives 8 hours away), I would not pay for it. You all can slap me for that, but I don't regret it. With me checking the wounds for myself, I've seen that the complication didn't get worse and he had complete access to additional medical care. He had the surgery September 29, and I haven't left his side yet. I do not regret the bullying. I think it was the best thing for him.

 

It might be enough for folks who didn't have to experience it from their mother. This mother sought professional advice.... and it was SOooooooooo wrong... so wrong. Where is a parent to go for professional advice on the subject?

I've been wrong for so many things concerning the transition. Of course, I thought his life would be easier if he didn't transition and used to pray that this feeling is taken from him. Since it wasn't, I trust that God has a purpose for his transition.

I can't wait to hear what the doctor has to say.

I have his dinner done.. need to plate it and wait for him to come out so we can change bandages and have him sit to a quiet meal. (I also made him an italian sub cut up into smaller pieces in a container in the fridge.
They are on vampire time at this time.

 

Hahha.. that's one way to look at it! I simply gave up on professionals and decided to trust my instincts more. It's always a mother's instinct to care for her child's needs. The shrink had be convinced the needs were different. Going forward...... it's my instincts only! He won't need me much longer though. I'm working on his gender marker change.... the name change is easy, but once that's done, he doesn't need me so my instincts will be all for naught! I just want him to remember me with love after I'm gone. I want him to remember that I've ALWAYS been on HIS side.... and hell hath no fury like a mother who feels her child is being mistreated.

 

We seem to have another complication. I wanted to drive him up there today, but the surgeon can't see him until tomorrow. t least, for tonight, I made him some pizza frittz for a treat for AFTER he eats his dinner!!!!

 

Back to the surgeon.... long ride. We need to see where he stands and what is next. Gosh, I'm tired. I can't even imagine how Jake feels. The poor thing. I can tell when he's nervous or frightened.. he talks a mile a minute. I say.. don't worry.. we'll get it fixed. I will not have a necrotic nipple killing my kid.. I'd rather have it gone and we'll go back and fix it. This gives me a year to pay this 10 grand off credit cards so we can go for a reconstruction. Ah... I'll just wait to see what the doctor says. For now I just want him healthy.

 

Ben, I wish there was a way I could tell other parents not to take too much stock in the "professionals". I want to get that message out there. Yes, I want them to seek help but I suggest they trust their instincts before the professional advice. Do you know what I mean?

---------- Post added 29th Oct 2016 at 05:35 PM ----------

OH and we had another party for him today.. his 1 month anniversary party. He and I had the opportunity to sit on the front port and talk a bit. We talked about me not having the awareness 5 or 6 years ago. I said.... I could have done something about it then. He accepted some responsibility in this saying that he, having no basis for feeling this way, was afraid to tell me everything. I made him promise that this is not to happen going forward.