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my brother is likey to be gay

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by dude99, Apr 12, 2010.

  1. dude99

    dude99 Guest

    Hi there
    I believe my brother is gay. he has denied it but I have come accross some evidience such as he not dating or having girlfriends and never can remember him ever doing that and he is in his late 30s now. In addition I have other reasons beside that. Anyway he is not as expereinced in the gay world as me and has barely touched it (I believe) and the life of a gay person is harder than a straight person. I have experienced some of the worst aspects of being gay and I dont at alll want my brother to experience that shit and worried about he would go through the same shit. My father strongly suspects he is gay too. Anyway I dont have any other sibblings and the problem is I dont think my parents would take it well if all there children are gay. Anyway i also have a rare surname and after my parents pass on no one else after me and brother will pass that on. Its quite depressing and my parents have said they would have loved to have grandchildren but they realise they will never have any. Me I never really wanted children. I get on with my parents but there life for there children is not as they imagined. It would have been easier for me if my brother was not gay esp on parents. Why can life as a gay person be so hard at times esp when the things you cannot control?
     
  2. Lexington

    Full Member

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    It's been my experience that being gay does NOT have to be such a big deal. It does depend largely on where you are, and if you have a supportive group of friends and/or family. Being gay isn't some sort of curse that one is doomed to just "survive". For many of us, being gay has actually been a blessing, and has enriched our lives rather than weighed it down.

    I'm assuming you're out to both your father and your brother. If not, that'd be the obvious first step. To lead by example. To show that being gay isn't something that needs to be hidden.

    Lex
     
  3. Prccgeek

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    Yeah, I think lex is totally right. Yes, there are negatives to being gay, but honestly there are a ton of good things. If if I had the choice to be completely straight I don't think I would. I am who I am! And if you be proud of who you are and just be a guy who has a normal happy life ( and also happens to be gay) then hopefully your brother will see that he can live a good life being openly gay too.
    And I know a family that has two gay sons and they are honestly some of the coolest people I have ever met. Besides, it gives your brother someone else to turn to if he is nervous or has questions or just wants to mention that cute guy. And about the surname, it is to bad if it is important to you family. I am one of those peope hat just isn't really attached to my last name, but who is to say that one of you couldn't meet a nice guy and raise a few kids with that name. I am really hoping to still have a family even if I end up with another woman.
     
  4. itIsMe

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    Well, I'm gay and I have only one brother, who's gay too. I was the second to come out and, suprisingly, they took it good! :slight_smile: Not the best comprehension in the world, but yeah, pretty well. I was scared (and also my brother) that our parents would take it too bad, because all of their sons were gay, but they said that were "already accustomed". What's more, they had no clue that I was gay.
    Hope you'll find this useful (*hug*)
     
  5. Jim1454

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    What's the big deal on passing down the family name? What if you had both been female? In Canada the children take the name of the father, so no matter how many children you might have had as women, the family name would have stopped there. It wouldn't have mattered.

    You aren't responsible for the happiness of your parents. They are. And if they're counting on you (or your brother) to make them happy then they need to take a look at their own lives.

    Yes - being gay has its challenges. But life in general has its challenges. I've had a relatively easy life - despite addiction and being gay - compared to a lot of people. It's all in how you look at things.
     
  6. Miss Bubbles

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    wow i have two real bros, three step bros, and a step sis. As far as i know i am the only gay one but i suspect two are bi/gay and my sis is bi. My parents are still having a hard time accepting me three years later. They are still p[laying the card that i am hurting them because i always was talking about having kids and giving them grandchildren and i still do but it may take a little longer lol. just role with it and if u have to get him drunk and ask him.