My son came out to me....

aww darlin * hugs tight * im crying reading this hes so lucky so so lucky i wish more kids had moms like you <3

---------- Post added 14th Sep 2012 at 03:36 PM ----------

why not tell him about this site

 

He will see the difference between him and the majority of society, he will hear their opinions, he will deal with judgement, all of this is true. However, our contentment in our lifes isnt based on the opinions of outsiders, it is based on what we decide to do with those opinions. Him knowing that you are there to support him, and you dont find anything wrong with him could be the difference between him loving who he is before the next 40 years pass. I would say that you definitely should sit him down and talk to him. Make sure that he knows that you are there for him.


You are already doing the right thing by trying to figure out how to support him, so dont put yourself down. (*hug*)

 

He will do fine because he has a very supportive mother

 

Welcome to EC!

I think Gen hit most of it on the head already, but I'll chime in anyways.

Like Gen said, I think you're already doing well in letting your son know that you're there for him. Sure, it's possible (and arguably more likely than his straight counterparts) that he'll face discrimination and judgement... but at the end of the day, if people want to bully him, they'll find a reason to, regardless of whether or not he's gay - it just makes it easier for them. That's not to say it's acceptable, but it certainly isn't the end of the world. You seem like you're well connected with your son, so I think you'd have an indication if something were seriously wrong. So long as he knows that he has someone on his side, I'm sure he'll do fine.

If you're concerned that he's dealing with this on his own, maybe look for some LGBT resources in your area, or even point him here (if you're comfortable with that).

As for you and your views on polyamory... I think that's very much your decision whether or not you share it with him, but I don't think you need to do it as justification why his being gay is okay. Though I see the parallels, especially in regards to being outside the norm, I don't think he needs much more right now than to just have someone who unconditionally cares for him.

Keep up what you're doing; you sound like a great mother. Come back and post some more if you've got questions or anything, you're always welcome around here.

 

Thats great (*hug*). You are being a good mother, he will be fine.

 

I don't really have any advice, I just wanted to tell you that you are an awesome mom If more parents were like you, people wouldn't be as scared coming out, I know I wish my mom had reacted like you did. Just let your son know you're there for him and you support him.

 

I'm really glad you care so much. Honestly, I am not exactly thrilled most of the time parents come here to post about how their kids came out to them, but you have a really concerned, loving response.

Yes, being queer is playing life on hard mode. But since you understand the oppression he'll face so well, that makes you so much the better ally for him when he desparately needs help (and at some point, he will).

 

Thanks Trixie <3

 

Hi, Welcome to Empty Closets!

You can tell your son about polyamory. But avoid details--he's not going to want to know about the specifics, probably.

Thank you for being a great mom and loving your son. It's really appalling that I feel like it's necessary to thank you for that, but I do. I think it's actually a minority of parents that aren't accepting these days, but it's still horrible.

I'm sure your son understands; he's probably cried about it a few times himself.

Don't make him ask for condoms; just put some in the bathroom he uses and if they start disappearing, replace them. Also look at the expiration date on them--really old condoms are more likely to break.



If you want, we can hide this thread so that he won't see it.

 

Wow, it's so refreshing to have someone like you to be a mother to your kids. Acceptance is the way forward. Kudos!

While there are places in the world where homosexuality is not accepted or not accepted well, it is, on the whole, much better now.

 

If anything, he's so lucky to have such a caring and supporting mother.

 

Dang! You are awesome Trixie!

 

Trixie I am grateful you exist. I wish my mother was like this! I will not, for a long time, tell my parents I am gender fluid. My dad probably wouldn't care...my mom is a diff story. She has a very difficult time wrapping her head around things. It would only cause problems =/...But thanks for being a fantastic supporting mother and being educated without your 20 year old child having to tell you whats going on.

 

Aww...It's okay. Your son is strong, just tell him to be himself! Let him live his life comfortably and happily in his own body and mind. If something goes through his way, watch how he reacts but don't be a helicopter parent. Good luck, and your a great mother!

 

You're an awesome mom! I came out to my mother and she was extremely supportive. Trust me when I tell you that having a supportive mother makes things much easier. Just keep being awesome and open with talking to him and he will be fine. It's awesome that you guys have the kind of relationship that you two can talk about things. Once I came out to my mom, I was able to talk to her much more easily.