For the past few months, I have been experiencing a feeling that is only getting worse as time passes. I have an ache in my shoulders, my eyelids are feeling heavy, I have no motivation to work out (something I typically enjoy doing), I've been spending way too much time alone, and I can't seem to roll out of bed until one or two in the afternoon, (Something I may believe may be an effect of my sleep paralysis issue.) I wake up feeling anxious. I haven't hung out with any of my friends in weeks and usually I love getting out of the house. I just feel generally bleh. It's only getting worse and I'm not exactly sure what this issue could be or how to help it? Keep in mind I live in a house I constantly have to supress my gender identity, sexual orientation, and even some trivial things I enjoy such as comics, video games, and certain types of clothing.
I'm not a medical expert, but it sounds like you're suffering from depression. The main cause is most likely the fact that you have to hide who you are. Not being able to express yourself can really take a lot out of you. Your lack of interest in hanging out with friends, not doing the things that you used to enjoy and your sleep habits are symptoms of depression. Is there any way that you can discuss this with your parents? I think you may need to seek therapy because suppressing the emotions that you have is harmful. You may start feeling ashamed, even though there's no reason for you to feel bad about who you are. I suppressed my attraction towards women for many years and it about killed me. I was sick all of the time and I cried a lot because I was hurting deep inside. So, I sought help when I turned 18. It helped talking to someone outside of my family/friends about how I felt. There was no judgement just all ears, which is something that you need right about now. Hang in there (*hug*)
I fully agree, take it from somebody who's currently receiving treatment for depression. Those symptoms are classic, and I would recommend you go to see a doctor asap in case your physiological symptoms turn into behavioural symptoms. Keep on chatting to everybody on here, isolation never helps! Also, try to think positive thoughts and smile - I know it's hard but it honestly makes so much of a difference during recovery. (*hug*)
I would very much like to seek professional help but to do I would have to involve my parents. It's simply not an option. They will tell me that I feel this way because I am wrong and simply need to change who I am. I've tried to get help through them before and it ended terribly. Seeing a doctor at this point isn't an option I'm afraid
deficiency in something? vitamin D, iron? low sugar level? please try and find a way to talk to your parents. i never thought they'd understand me, and they still don't really understand my depression, but their intent is good, they're parent's after all, they'd want to know if there was a problem with their child and how they could help you through it.
