Do you really need Sex?

I've said I was going to do that a time or two, and found I couldn't. It isn't THAT necessary, and it is certainly possible to be healthy and happy for long periods without sex, but it is cathartic, too, at least to me. But, yes, I suppose there are levels and ways of proceeding in sex that could be construed as addiction, and only you know your specific situation. Still, for any addiction, I don't know if one can self-diagnose. However, I suppose that people do know if they have an alcohol or nicotine addiction. I think someone who knows more about sexual addiction needs to weigh in.

 

Why do you want to not have sex with your boyfriend? Sex is a healthy part of a relationship, I feel this has to do with something more than sex.

 

It sounds like you're having another round of depression again. Stop that.

More seriously, I don't think you should be making any decisions of this sort until you are in a better mental space. We both know you go thru this sort of thing now and again and that's ok. You're working on it with your therapy. Right now it sounds like you're in a down spot, but it will get better(*hug*)

Hang in there,

Todd

 

as humans (read: animals), yes.

 

That is a very fine line you are treading. Everything is good in moderation and sex is healthy in a relationship. If you were single I would say maybe abstain from sex until you are in a committed relationship.

 

Well, it's a really personal thing to be honest. I , myself, need a guy in the long run. Emotionally and physically. I guess you already like sex, so I would suggest don't abstain from it completely. Sex can be healthy. Just cut it down a little.

 

1. We are human, it's too hard-wired into our system to quit cold turkey for the rest of our lives. The only way you could possibly do it is to undergo surgery to remove the bits between your legs, I doubt anyone would want to do that.

2. I know a thing or two about addiction (I currently have an addiction to porn and cigarettes), my advice isn't to let that destroy or define you, seek therapy/counseling, find a support group, gather a group of close friends too. I wish I had done all this, but I'm afraid it's too late for me. Please don't make my mistake.

3. Re-read # 1.

4. Has he said anything to you on the matter, or have you two sat down and talked about it? I mean, I've never had a boyfriend but I think if he truly loves/cares about you, he'll walk this path with you and help you get the help you need.

5. Well let's just make sure it doesn't get that bad. True, if he does leave you it's definitive proof your sex addiction has gotten too intense. Perhaps if he sees you making efforts to get help, he'll want to stick around and be there for you too.

I hope everything works out for the two of you.

As per the OP, I would say I'm not sure as I don't have sex, but I do masturbate so I guess that's self-sex. In that case, yes I need it daily.

 

Sex is part of a healthy relationship and cutting it out may make you feel isolated, A relationship isn't just about sex, emotions do form an important part.
Why do you feel this way ? Does having sex make you feel uncomfortable ?

 

It's less about it being "taboo" than it has with you taking extreme measures to solve a problem. There's nothing wrong with having sex once in a while with your boyfriend.

Your issue comes from the fact that you are suffering from depression, and that you are seeking some form of release (sex and self-harm) to either punish yourself or make you feel better. Your therapist is right when (s)he says that you need to learn to be happy/love yourself.

You really need people in your environment that will love you, support you, and help you feel better about yourself. You deserve it, even if you don't believe you do at the moment.

 

I can't comment until I have tried it

 

i wouldn't. it would suck for you to be 80 and realize you missed out on something great your entire life.

it's healthy, and it will be hard to have a relationship without sex, and if you do have depression like people are saying, a relationship is probably a good thing to have, so you will always have somebody there for you when you feel like crap.

and no, i can't go a day without masturbating (being i'm single, and sex is kind of hard to come by at 15)

 

Personally, I think sex is over-hyped in today's culture. I've gone *largely* sexless for the last 23 years, and while a little more action wouldn't be unwelcome, I'm not going to stress myself out over it. Who knows, it might change later, but I don't think I'm missing out on paradise, not by a long shot. I'd rather channel those energies into working out, meditating, studying new subjects, and meeting new people, honestly.

Especially hearing of people who have it every day, several times, I cringe a bit. At my "peak" it was something like 3-4 times a week, and that was more than enough to satisfy most needs. This view might be unpopular among men in general, both gay and straight, and it seems the assumption is always "you just can't get it", when really, if someone wants something bad enough, they'll go for it, and I obviously haven't.

It isn't taboo for me at all, but in your case, it sounds like there might be some underlying issue(s). There are Christians who choose to remain celibate for most their lives, and I won't shame them for it; if anything, I think it's admirable, especially in a society that's so sex-obsessed. For someone who can easily have it, and has done so many times in the past, swearing off sex seems a bit unrealistic. Perhaps cut back for a bit, or reevaluate your sexual practices, instead?

 

I don't think you should cut out having sex, it's part of a healthy relationship
If u think you think you are bad at sex or that your boyfriend doesn't like it, maybe you should have a talk with him, discuss what he likes and try to improve how you do it