1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

A Problem With Drinkin...Please Read

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Isaac, May 8, 2008.

  1. Isaac

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2007
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    First I want to clarify what I'm saying. I do not have a drinking problem as I DO NOT drink at all. I'm 18 turning 19, never really had friends so was never really went to parties and I'm kind of proud I don't drink. I will probably ease my self into it in a few years and so I could casually have a glass of wine or something but maybe not. My problem is that now that I'm dating somone, he is younger, 16, and I'm hanging out with his friends more (any friends I do have are from University who have moved home) and they like to drink. Last Saturday there was a back room that was a mess and he did not wnat people to see back there so we put a sheet up. Well once everybody had shown up, they put all the alcohol back there.

    Now I have seen a lot of scary things in my life and in one moment he was walking around with his friends and in the next I saw him walk behind that blanket and my heart jst dropped. I have never been so scared as i had no control. I did not know what he was drinking, how much how fast etc. Later I found out ti was maybe a little over 1/4 bottle of Scotch, and a few beers and stuff. They had a Keg, and were filling cups but theres alot of foam but what ever, thats not the point lol. He was only back there maybe 10 minutes or LESS and I know he drank the beers through out the evening or when I was helping someone girls BF to teh sink, running his headf under the water, carrying him stairs and through the abckyard to her dad to him home!

    Now I know thht trying to find someone you does not drink is very hard, I don't want to end it becasue he drinks , and I don't want to say you need to control your self or thats it type of thing. The second kind of date was a small party with people and he chose not to drink becasue we agreed and I said it would be awkward, so I know he can control him self and stop. He had lie two sips of somethng and that was it. I'm just really scared and it botehrs me to be in that type of a situation. He maybe won't throw up all the time or veyr little but I know that each time we go, I have to be responsible and take of him and stuff. I know peoplewill say well just don't go when he does or tell him it makes you uncoftorable but I can't make him stop. If were together for a while maybe he will grow out of it or something or when I'm away at University next year I will not see it as much but it worries me.

    Now I have been thinking about it. I'm not saying, "Well I can't beat them so I'll join them," and I'm not saying "Well I'll drink to comforty them and fele relaxed", and I know it may not be the best time or what ever to start. But I thought maybe if i buy myself a bottle of coke, andfill my cup a little over 3/4, and tehn put a bit of something I will feel more relaxed. I've always wanted ot make changes in my life, not to say that I justw ant to start drinking and stuff but I think that maybe I will relax a bit more, have one with something in it, and thats it. I'm not saying that each time I'll have a few more or less coke but it has been a barrier of mine (and I'm ahppy I have not gotten drunk or lost control in anyway) ut maybe by having a very small amount, I can relax, and stuff. I'm not sure what I'm asking for hear but maybe just some thoughts of how people deal with it themselves, how they feel about it, how I should know if they've drank too much, when I should call for help, how they fele about drinking or stuf I guess. Thank you sooooooooooo much lol.

    xoxoxo
    :grin:
     
  2. Gumtree

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2008
    Messages:
    929
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sydney - Australia
    I was just wondering, what exactly is your problem with him drinking?

    I understand that you might be uncomfortable with him drinking at 16.

    There is no need to feel obliged that you are responsible for his well being. If he's going out to get shitfaced then more then likely he expects to wake up the next morning in some stupid place in a puddle of puke, not at your house, cleaned up and in your bed.

    I kind of agree with the people that said 'Don't go to those parties with him'.

    People are going to shoot me down for that one i bet, but i think that if you're going to a party where people 'expect' to get extremely drunk and you don't, then chances are you wont enjoy that party anyway.

    Having a small drink yourself wouldn't be a bad idea, it would definitely help you loosen up if you had enough.
     
  3. Isaac

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2007
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    See to me I just dont undersdtand why people do it. I dont understand what goes through your mind to wanna drink so much and feel liek shit. For people who say its fun, your relaxed and all that its stupid. I just never understood how that could be, and I could plan a million more ways to stay up to 5 am and ahve fun and they dont involve drinking. I understand your position, and I respect that. I just don't undersdtand teens or young adults who do this. I'm Italian, and Europeans have amore mature way of looking at dirnking. We don't see it as, lets go get our face smashed and stuff.
     
  4. JSG

    JSG Guest

    The guys over in the British Isle don't have a mature way of drinking :lol:

    A little bit of alcohol never killed anyone (I think) and if you don't like your bf getting really drunk, talk to him about it.
     
  5. Trumpetplyer23

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    533
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    O-H-I-O!
    Does he do this often? I mean, on the edge of becoming an alcoholic? If so, that's when you need to worry and talk to him.

    Or, if it's really bothering you, just tell him "Hey, I don't mind you drinking a little, that's okay. I'm just afraid that you're over doing it."

    Also, is anyone (that you know of) an alcoholic? If so, then he has an increased chance of dependency due to heredity.
     
  6. Jim1454

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    7,284
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Toronto
    Don't knock it if you haven't tried it!

    I used to have a bit of a 'holier than thou' attitude too, but I think it was a self defence mechanism that helped me deal with the fact that I was 'different' and didn't have many friends.

    I don't think it's necessary to sacrifice your own moral standards in order to fit in, but you might want to relax them a little. Just a suggestion.

    But if your boyfriend's drinking bothers you, then talk to him about it.
     
  7. pirateninja

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2007
    Messages:
    579
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bath, England

    Yes we do! *shifty eyes*


    If it really is getting to you, and it seems as if he has an actual problem, then talk to him about it. Tell him you are concerned about the amount he is drinking, not the actual fact that he is drinking.

    People are going to drink underage. It's not good to just rain on people's parade. But there is a difference between drinking underage and sensibly, and just making an ass of yourself doing so.
     
  8. Vampyrecat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2007
    Messages:
    923
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    1 hour east of Portland, Vic.
    Personally, I have been drinking, and I have gotten absolutely shitefaced, and I have no idea why people say it's fun. Throwing up, passing out, and waking up with a shocking hangover is NOT my idea of fun.

    If you think your bf is drink it too much, then maybe say to him (if he's in the process of going to another drinkfest), "Hey, why don't you just come over to mine, we'll watch some movies or something?".

    If it really bothers you, then tell him how you feel but try not to be antagonistic, there is an age gap between you, and while I'm sure you both feel the same about each other, there will be a slight maturity gap as well, which could show itself if he feels you are attacking him. He might be defensive, or he might call you weak etc.

    That said, there's nothing wrong with having a drink once in a while. Binge drinking is a bad thing, and from the sounds of it, your bf likes a binge every once in a while.
    If you're going to mix drinks, then do it with someone who will take care of you, maybe a parent or your bf. coke and rum is usually okay, although it can be potent if you put too much rum in (as I have found out myself).

    Hope this helps.
     
  9. Evilmonkey

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2007
    Messages:
    88
    Likes Received:
    0
    whats wrong with drinking? i dont get shitfaced (often) but having drinks with friends can lighten the mood, take the edge off, help you loose your inhibitions.. it is a socially acceptable thing to do. just like with everything, if you take things too far they can be really bad for you, but moderation is the key... lighten up and have one or two with him...