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Obesity and Homosexuality

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Bear101, Jul 27, 2013.

  1. Bear101

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    I'm obese, like 200 pounds overweight. I've been working with a shrink who specializes in weight issues and I've realized that the majority of my weight issues actually stem from my struggles with accepting being gay.

    Does anyone struggle in this way?
     
  2. gavguy

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    Hi, I must admit that food for me is very important and I have comfort eaten a hell of a lot over the years to combat rejection and pain.
    I accept myself being gay but I do think that the gay aspect of it hasn't helped with eating lots so it's really hard to say.
    This sort of leads into a vicious circle for me because I am unhappy so I will eat, then I get depressed with my weight and because of this I eat again and the problem continues again.
    When you are overweight you do feel that the chances of you meeting someone is very remote but there are also people around that will go on your personality and not your looks.
    You have to gain the strength needed and I hope that things work out for you :icon_bigg
     
  3. Choirboy

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    I definitely had similar issues. I was always somewhat overweight, even as a child, and that combined with some family issues led to general low self-esteem, which led to more eating....

    I lost quite a lot of weight when I went away to college, but it was due to being in a new situation, and not any real changes in lifestyle. I also was trying desperately to impress my roommate, who I had a major crush on, but in the end that didn't go well. Once I was back in the real world, the weight crept back, and I had already regained everything I had lost (and then some) by the time I got married 20 years ago. In the end I was around 320 lbs.

    Several unexpected things all converged at just the right time. I met a guy who I found very attractive and we developed a casual friendship, which started some wheels turning. If only I was out, if only I wasn't so overweight, if only he was gay.... Then in quick succession, my dad died after a long decline, I turned 50, and I discovered I had 2 significant health issues. I was severely anemic, which made even climbing a flight of stairs a nightmare (I assumed it was because I was fat and 50), and I had surgery for an aneurysm in my lung which could easily have killed me. Plus, I had a new and (I thought) rather cranky doctor who demanded that I lose 20 lbs. over the next 6 months. Seemed reasonable. I made a few minor changes to my eating and started walking, and was amazed to find that the weight came off pretty quickly. I made a few changes, walked more, and the end result is that a little over a year later I am closing in on the 100-lb mark.

    What has surprised me is that I always expected that accepting myself as gay and coming out would make me want to lose weight. The opposite happened. Once I started losing weight, I would look in the mirror and think, wow! If I was gay (still thinking in those terms, too), I might have a chance of being considered decent looking! Which made it easier to make more changes. As I lost more weight, I almost feel as if I started outing myself. I would laugh inside and think, I walk like a gay guy! My self-confidence has bloomed and I finally feel like I could come out and be accepted. If anything, I'm actually getting impatient. I still have a 20-year marriage to an emotionally messed-up wife to deal with. But I feel ready to take on the world, knowing I will fall on my face and get hurt more than once, but it will be on my own terms.

    Keep up the struggle. It can definitely be done and you will be so very much happier for it. Losing a significant amount of weight is a whole lot of work, but the confidence you get from the changes leads to much better things. If I can do it, anyone can! Good luck.
     
  4. lukeluvznicki13

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    Yeah its happened to me.
    I have been losing weight as well myself. I just have accepted who I am .
    I guess we all get stressed, confused and depressed and our body also takes strong from it.
    But chin up, and just be positive!
     
  5. Azrael

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    Yeah, I ate a lot when I was 230 pounds a while back, I started losing some when I came out to myself, it's a slow process but it's working.

    I guess when you're bottled up you find a way to bring happiness to yourself and like my mother said, a way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
     
  6. Bear101

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    You know, the really weird thing? I'm currently in the middle of a divorce, but still living with my wife. I find that the days that I'm not around her much, I eat much, much, much less. But when I'm around her, I'm binging like crazy.

    I can't wait until I'm out of this phase of my life...
     
  7. Dalmatian

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    I'm overweight, but not by a lot. However, it does bother me. Actually, more than surplus kilos, I am worried about the comfort food brings. Food should just be a necessity, not a way to deal with emotional downs. I am aware that many times I eat just because I feel so chest-crushingly bad that I need any positive stimulus; and food is the simplest and quickest one. What's worst, that's mostly all this horrible food like Mars bars or chips or something as bad.

    So, yeah.. comfort food. I don't think you are alone in that.