1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Received my first handjob and I feel dirty

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by teluphone, Aug 18, 2013.

  1. teluphone

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2012
    Messages:
    284
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Singapore
    I'm not sure whether all these feelings of shame and disgust are actually normal for a first timer like myself. I'm also concerned whether I contracted any diseases because we kissed with a few seconds with tongue :icon_sad:
     
  2. AwesomGaytheist

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2013
    Messages:
    6,909
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    You more than likely didn't contract a disease from kissing. I felt dirty the first time I had cybersex and a few days later going and having real sex with him. This was about 6 months before I got with my current boyfriend, and I was 15 I think, but I only felt bad about it because I snuck out in the middle of the night to go do it with him and we did it in his house while his parents were in bed. Not the smartest thing I've ever done.
     
  3. Dalmatian

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2011
    Messages:
    689
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London, UK
    Did you enjoy it, though? I mean, forget about the awkwardness and nervousness and all.. in the end, was it enjoyable? If it was, leave the doubts aside (but not health issues; think about who you do things with).
     
  4. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    The shame/disgust feelings aren't too uncommon, especially depending on the situation. It's more common to feel this way if you sort of "rushed into it" - like if some guy suddenly walked up and suggested it, and you let your hormones answer instead of your brain. :slight_smile: Also, the way it starts and ends can play a part. If he immediately walked away without a word, that can make you feel more like a "piece of meat" and can contribute to those feelings.

    Speaking in generalities, though, it's not that big of a deal. If you wanted to do something sexual with this guy, maybe it wasn't all you hoped, but hey - you gave it a go. You might think twice about doing it with him (or another guy), since you'll remember you had mixed feelings about it afterwards.

    As far as diseases go, it wouldn't be very unusual for you to develop mild cold symptoms in a couple days. This doesn't mean you've picked up a horrible STI or anything - it's just that you were intimate with another guy, and it's a lot easier to pick up a cold or something when you give it a direct route. :slight_smile: But catching an STI via kissing is unbelievably rare. If the odds aren't zero, they may as well be.

    Lex
     
  5. Pat

    Pat
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2012
    Messages:
    580
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Woodstock, GA
    A lot of the younger guys here reeeeeally want to put their sexuality to the test lol. You being gay doesn't mean that you have to be promiscuous. It's okay to value your body and require the utmost from any guy that wants to be with you.. It's okay to identify who you are and who you want and not act on those impulses immediately. My thought after coming out to myself was.. "well, gee.. at least I know what was wrong with me now and the stress is minimizing" another part of that could be feeling a little promiscuous or just plain horny.. I get it.. It's just a risky game to play especially if you're trying to do it with men who are grown and you're still in your teen years. Now, you didn't specify your age, so I'm not sure if that's you, but I think from here on you should seek out a guy you can actually get to know for a while first. 6 dates (hang outs) before you go any further.. that way you can kind of get a vibe for the guy. It's tough when we try to think with our penis and our brains at the same time. Lol. You'll get better at putting your brain before your impulses eventually. Sorry it got awkward for you. Happens to me every time it's a random dude, soo yeah. Hope I helped.
     
  6. TJ

    TJ
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2011
    Messages:
    1,833
    Likes Received:
    299
    Location:
    Lawrence, KS
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I felt pretty nasty after some of my first stuff.
    It goes away - don't let it get to you, because it really doesn't matter. :wink:
     
  7. BryanM

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2013
    Messages:
    2,894
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Columbia, Missouri
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think it's pretty normal for some people to feel awkward or dirty when doing something for the first time. Don't worry, the feeling should go away. On the diseases part it's highly unlikely you could have contracted something like an STI or STD, as they usually have a hard time passing through saliva.