I have noticed that while I am jerking off, I unwillingly tighten my sphincter. I have tried several times to stimulate both my penis and my prostate at the same time, but most of the times I can't get my sphincter to remain loose. At those moments I feel like I have to be a little tense to keep my penis erect. Still, I have never had any erection problems. Am I doing something wrong? I have thought that I may be forcing myself to masturbate: I am not really all that turned on, but I watch some porn and masturbate to help pass the time or take a break from my work. Without porn I wouldn't be able to get completely erect. Does this happen to you too? I have also thought that I am not using the right lube. As I live with my parents, I can't have access to appropriate lubes, so I turn to moisturizing cream. Should I use something else? My main concern is ending up not liking anal sex. I 've always thought that bottoming and receiving a handjob at the same time would feel spectacularly amazing, but when I try to do that myself, it isn't all that pleasurable and that's quite a disappointment. Not to mention that I am really scared of what will happen when somebody asks me to have anal sex. I've never had sex before and I wouldn't like having the whole experience ruined. Thanks for your advice!
Hey there, this is always a frustrating thing trying to figure out at first, so dont be down about it, you are definitely not alone. First of all, yes, you should probably try a better lubricant. Amazon is a great resource if you are able to get it delivered somewhere else, or if you have non-nosey parents, as it comes in a non discrete box. Second of all, maybe for now you should focus on working on one side at a time. Maybe work your way up to both, but as far as what you're saying with the tightening up while working on both, that is actually really common. It sounds silly, but it actually takes a lot of practice to relax on both sides. No tensing up the legs, flexing the butt cheeks, contracting the abb's or any of that business for the first couple times, K? As far as ruining sex for you, no, it probably wont. You just need some practice, and you need to meet a partner who will take it slowly with you. The trick with anal sex is foreplay, lots of proper lube, and going slow. If you take your time, make sure the area is really well "stretched" and relaxed, and dont rush anything (no hardcore anything), then it will be fine. Baby steps. Much love,
Thanks TyRawr! Now it's feedback time. I tried masturbating and relaxing all my muscles. I didn't touch my anus at all. This is what happened. -I got a perfect boner, despite not expecting that. -The base of my penis was more flexible, so I could bend my penis. So far I could only bend it by a few degrees and it kind of got me concerned. But now this issue is solved. -I jerked off for an hour without having to pause to avoid ejaculation and the whole experience was more intense. I felt weird sensations I had rarely felt before and this time they were much stronger and more frequent. All was going well, until I realised I couldn't build up momentum to reach ejaculation. Maybe it was because one hour is a long period of time and I was losing interest, but my penis was still completely erect, so I don't think that was the cause. So I had to resort to my old method, that is to get tense again, and I managed to ejaculate fairly quickly. I still can't understand why this is happening. My penis gets stiffer and less flexible, and therefore I can get a better grip on it and arouse it properly? Now I am kind of freaking out that I can't have proper orgasms. And as for the lube, it's not my parents who will sneak in and find it. They wouldn't do that, and even if they were to find it, they wouldn't say anything at all. My problem is our cleaning lady. She always messes around looking in our stuff instead of cleaning, when we ar not around. She probably knows better what's in our house than I do. Furthermore, she likes to gossip a lot, and I would like finding out that the neighbour know I have a lube bottle hidden in my room. Not to mention that there is no telling what she will do if she finds a locked box instead. Ah.... So no professional lube for me...
Id say that is pretty normal to experience what you experienced. Its going to take some practice to reach climax and be relaxed. It sounds more like maybe you are masturbating to get it done rather than enjoying it really. Maybe work on taking your time some more, and going back and forth from tense to relaxed. I do know that if your going to be tense that anal is not going to be comfortable, but if you can learn to transition into a more relaxed state it might make things possible.
It's true. I feel like ejaculation brings a vivid ending to the pleasure, so I always want to ejaculate. If I don't, I feel there is something missing from the whole experience... Plus, when I am under time pressure, which is most time the case, I don't have the luxury of concentrating on the sensation. I need something quick and satisfying. Anyway, I will keep exercising and try to take more time. Thanks a lot for your help!
