Controlling really strong sexual urges. Need help!

Can you masturbate to ease the urge?

Todd

 

What does hooking up get you that masturbation does not? It's a semi-rhetorical question, but trying to get an idea of your situation here.

Are the orgasms more intense from hooking up? Are you looking for some level of intimacy with another person that solo masturbation doesn't provide? Something else?

Todd

 

You're saying it like it's a terrible thing that you've never been in a relationship. You're 16.

I see where you're coming from though, I used to be the same. But now that I know there are plenty of guys who want me (not trying to brag here, it just is), it's not as exciting anymore to look for random sex. That, and it's probably your urge to experiment, which is completely normal at your age.

I'm never too sure what to advise when it comes to random hookups. I've done it myself, but it's not the safest thing to do, in more than one way. Sure it can be pleasurable, but yeah. Idk

 

I don't have anything against hookups per se.

However, given your age, the reasons you're giving for hooking up, and your statement that you are basically hooking up with guys who are significantly older (however you measure that) and presumably more experienced, then you are putting yourself at potential risk.

Just as important, you are hurting your self-esteem and doing something you freely admit you hate while trying to find a connection that your current method is highly unlikely to find.

I would suggest that you stop hooking up and try to find other channels for meeting guys around your age. Not just for sex, and not just for a relationship, but to meet people like yourself, make some friends, and start building a support network that will help you with your self-esteem issues. I don't place finding a relationship as the primary goal, because truthfully, it will actually be better for you to like and be comfortable with yourself as the first and foremost thing. Making finding a relationship the primary goal of one's life almost always causes more problems than it solves. Instead work to become comfortable and happy with yourself and a lot of other things will either follow or get a lot easier. Including finding someone special

Are there any LGBT support groups or community centers in your area that you could make look into? That would be a really good place to start, both toward meeting other people and maybe finding someone to talk to about your self-esteem and such. Of course EC is also here and we're always happy to talk and are generally pretty friendly

Hope this helps,

Todd