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Why is eye contact so intriguing?!

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Rice and Pepper, Sep 9, 2013.

  1. Rice and Pepper

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    Once again, it happened. I had eye contact with a guy. He was holding my arms (we were practising a martial art) and he was looking at my eyes, and not our arms. His look on the other hand, wasn't aggressive, like "I am gonna **** you upside down". It was gentle, innocent, pure, kind. Then, when our teacher told us to change pairs, he told me thank you, while still looking at me. And I was like "No. I thank you. Just take me home with you and care for me".

    Okay, that mental reaction was apparently not visible, fortunately... But still that whole situation buffles and boggles my mind. I mean why does it happen? Why everytime I look someone I find attractive in the eyes I feel sparks fly? Why do I feel like the whole world suddenly disappeqrs and there is just me and him? Why do I feel like I connect and that I know so much about him for no actual reason? Like I have always known him? Why this happens specifically with eye contact? Is there a scientific explanation or something? I feel like giggling and crying at the same time, just because he looked me in the eyes and said thank you? It's quite stupid with you think about it blantly, but still it does happen. Can someone shed some light on the mystery of that wonderful experience? I don't know how. In terms of psychology, evolution theory, anything.
     
  2. SheWhoHasNoName

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    The eyes are the windows to the soul. And the soul is all we really need.
     
  3. Ridiculous

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    I have to balance out the thread and say it is because of hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, where animals would be killed if they couldn't determine the mood of the creatures around them. Facial muscles (including those around the eyes) evolved simultaneously for displaying mood, in a kind of arms race between mood portrayal and mood detection.

    The only reason you exist is because you are the end product of a million generations of individuals that could figure out whether the thing they were looking at was a friend or a foe and act accordingly - the ones that didn't were killed and have no ancestors.
     
  4. Rice and Pepper

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    That's pretty much what I think too Ridiculous. But still, it all happens so quickly and spontaneously. You weren't taught to discern an enemy from a foe. How does this happen? I just can't conceive it. What kind of mechanism does our brain have to make such distinguishments? It is so awkward, it feels it has a romantic explanation, like the one SheWhoHasNoName gave (which is very nicely written too :wink: ).

    Just like animals can tell bad persons and good persons apart. Like spiders know how to make webs? Like animals can find the right plants to eat when they have belly ache just by smelling, without medicine knowledge? How is inborn knowledge stored in our brain?!

    At times like this, I feel like there is something else inside me. Something that bypasses all my brain functions, all the logic I have built up all these years and takes me over. And it feels so vivid, so alive, so strong, that comes from deep inside me. I am not crazy, am I?...
     
  5. penguin machine

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    I caught myself staring at a really hot guy in class today. I totally forgot about the really cute guy sitting right next to me. I never looked at attractive men the entire time I was in the closet, it was honestly as if I couldn't see them. Now I'm surrounded by them and I feel like I've just woken up to it. I am a people-watcher, and I scan crowds and hallways frequently. Any time I make eye-contact I still shy away. My boyfriend says that eye contact and a smile are the fastest way to identify a gay guy, but I can't bring myself to do it.

    I really don't know what to tell you. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out this attractive guy thing myself.
     
  6. Ridiculous

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    For the same reason you weren't taught to release nerve-activating chemicals, or taught to produce hydrochloric acid in your stomach, or taught to breathe. Certain things are ingrained and do not happen consciously.

    Our ability for concious action developed after we had become living functioning organisms, and as such we have many (the majority in fact) capabilities that happen completely automatically. I think we would've developed mood detection long after we developed consciousness, but it was still hooked into the non-concious part of our physiology.

    This is going to annoy me if I don't correct it: I meant they have no descendants, not ancestors.
     
  7. Tightrope

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    Yes. That's taking it to its most noble level.

    At its more primal level, it's so cat and mouse, so it's like a jolt of adrenalin.
     
  8. Parsley

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    Locking eyes with such sudden and unplanned intensity that the conversation just stops as you get pulled in and completely stuck looking deep into another's eyes is the most amazing thing i have ever experienced in my life. Even better than a kiss.

    I don't know why it happens or what it says about what two people have between them. I just know that the world melts away when it happens. And when this happened for me it wasnt a plan to make and hold eye contact. It was like a magnetic pull and once our eyes locked we were stuck there for a long long time in silence.

    ---------- Post added 9th Sep 2013 at 09:41 PM ----------

    That is odd because any time it happens to me i actually feel calm and connected, not at all fight or flight.
     
  9. Tightrope

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    I think I was referring to being the "looker" instead of the "lookie," making me the cat in those situations.
     
  10. Northern

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    I never get such reactions, my eyes always get weird comments. They aren't normal and have this odd look to them (colour and gold parts) so people generally don't make eye contact after a couple of times, so for me it sucks. I don't get to have that sort of thing happen :frowning2:
     
  11. SimplyJay

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    Whenever i'm out for a walk at the park or at the store or whatever:
    If someone is walking towards me...i have to make eye contact with them before they pass by (though its very brief as I quickly look away)

    Wish i could find a way to force myself to avoid the whole eye contact thing alltogether
     
  12. Ettina

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    A certain part of the limbic system recognizes eyes and flags them for extra processing.

    (Except in my brain, it seems.)
     
  13. Zac

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    I hate eye contact!