Believe I've been misdiagnosed, what to say to doc?

Sorry in advance about the giant post, but I really don't know what to do.

I think I've been misdiagnosed bipolar. I recognize the problems with self-diagnosis and I'm not trying to do that really, I just don't feel my diagnosis is right and the meds are awful, much less not that effective.

I was diagnosed at fourteen. The doctor I was seeing was one of two psychiatrists in my area who were willing to see me because I was so young. She was a quack. She put me on antidepressants right away, so me and my parents figured my diagnosis was depression.
Nope.
I ended up seeing the only other psychiatrist in the area who would see teens because the first was flaky and my mom hated her and even I thought she didn't even seem like she gave a fuck about what was going on.

The new doctor opens up my file from the other office and tells me I'm bipolar. This was a shock for me and my mom. We had never been told this.

I still had 'depressive episodes' but they all coincide to times in my life where things were actually bad. My relationships that were unhealthy, my school stress levels, my anxiety levels, being in the closet, these things all perfectly match the times when I was not doing well mentally. Well duh. I was a teenager and struggling. I may actually have been battling clinical depression, but honestly I can't be sure.

Almost five years ago, I had what could be called a manic episode complete with hallucinations and had to be hospitalized. This was caused by an atypical antipsychotic my doctor wanted me to try when I complained about upping the dosage of the mood stabilizer I hate. So they changed it to a different mood stabilizer that makes me even more of a zombie than the others.

But I tolerated all of this. I was on the meds, I was off the meds, I was on different meds, I was on more meds. I have literally done it all. I thought I needed it because some doctor I saw a few times when I was fourteen didn't even tell me I'm apparently bipolar.

For years now I've had nothing resembling depression or mania--regardless of my changes in my medication, be it less or more. My therapist of nearly six years kept telling me I was the most stable person with a bipolar diagnosis she'd ever seen and how strange that was. I realize this it's possible with bipolar disorder to not have a lot of mood swings because I have done quite a bit of research, but still, it's been like four solid years since the med-induced mania and there is little evidence that the depression I faced as a teenager (and never had since) was not just related to life problems. What is clear is that I have some anxiety problems, probably relating to a phobia I have had since childhood. This is something I have known about for a long time. I tried to tell this to my doctor and he tried to put me on another atypical antipsychotic. I tried it but it makes me feel not only stupid like my other meds, but also hungover and that's not a good situation for life.

Anyway, I have to find a new doctor because mine no longer takes my insurance, and I'm wondering what to say. I'm assuming they're going to get my file, take a look at it and not listen to a word I have to say which is largely how psychiatrists have treated me thus far.

I feel like shit because of these meds and I have for years and never questioned why I had to take them, figuring doctors are pretty much always right and I don't know as much about it as they do. And I have to take hundreds and hundreds of milligrams of meds that make me feel like I'm slow and stupid and, depending on my water intake and food, sick.

I would just like a doctor to help me get off the meds I'm on now because they are awful and it's dangerous to stop taking them suddenly (you can have seizures and stuff).
I would like my doctor to advise me on how to go about dealing with my anxiety, preferably without medication, but depending on the reasoning of my doctor, I'm a bit flexible about that provided my other meds are stopped.
I would like my doctor to not view everything about me through the lens of bipolar and instead listen to me and get to know me first because I feel that it is only the bias of the first doctor I saw as a young teen who was terrible that has made each doctor afterward look at me expecting to see bipolar disorder where I believe there is none.

But the problem is, who is going to listen to me? The file says bipolar and bipolar means I could be delusional, unstable and medication non-compliant. Those are common things for bipolar disorder, but that isn't me. I've spent the last year thinking this through because I can't keep living like this.

Am I allowed to make them take me safely off my medication? Would any new doctor even treat me if I came right out and said I was there to get off my meds even though they don't know me? How do I bring it up so that they don't just pass off my really carefully thought out theory of being misdiagnosed as bipolar delusion?:help:

 

Thanks everyone.

It's good to know that if I tell a doctor I want to get off my meds that I'm allowed to do that. I would prefer to taper off under doctor supervision so I think I'm going to go to different doctors until one will help me do that.

I figure the worst thing that could happen is that while I'm tapering off, I discover I actually do need the meds I'm on and have to decide what to do from that point. (Try different meds or go back to the previous dosage, I guess)

Maybe that's the best way to frame this. It's clear that whatever diagnosis I have gotten that I am overmedicated and I just need to tell the. New doctor that as well as expressing my concerns about my diagnosis.

I wasn't sure that that's allowed for me to just decide I don't want to do medication anymore, but in reality, as long as I'm not endangering myself or others it is my body and should be my choice to try this. If it doesn't to go well I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.