Hey. Anyway, first off, please don't say nasty things about her after reading this. She's actually cried over this because she feels so bad about it. The thing is, she is perfectly fine when it comes to me doing things to her. She actually really enjoys it. But, when it comes to her being on top... She gets REALLY uncomfortable. I don't want to say she refuses it, but I would NEVER force her to do that sort of thing, you know? (I wouldn't force her to do ANYTHING she doesn't want to do actually, but that's besides the point. >_<) So she's only been on top about two times, and wasn't comfortable either time. She said it might be because she doesn't trust herself. She lost her trust in herself when we got into a car accident this past February. Obviously she was driving. (Don't worry, nobody got hurt, the only damage done was to my car.) I know sex isn't the most important thing. If I had to choose her over sex, I'd definitely choose her. I'm just upset because she feels so bad about it and feels guilty every time we do it, plus I will admit, my body does get a little frustrated not getting any action. Does anyone have any advice? Please?
Lay off of sex for a while and focus on the emotional aspect of the relationship. Focus especially on garnering deeper trust between you too. When you start getting back into it, Take it slow. Communication is key: try to discuss with her how she feels that way maybe she can slowly combat the problem. Also, you'd hear her perspective. Then of course, be patient.
Do you need her to be on top? Have you asked her why she doesn't want to?... I hate being on top because I feel disgusting physically when I am
Thank for the advice, fortheloveoflez. I will definitely keep that in mind. Sheena- perhaps saying being "on top" was the wrong thing to say. I didn't literally mean on top. What I meant was... Um... Doing things for my pleasure, I guess is the right way to describe it. >_<;;;
I've seen this kind of thread a lot of here...and after such, I've really come to a few conclusions. First, I don't really think you'd be bringing this up if it wasn't important to you. You are half of this relationship! Secondly, I'd really look into why she feels this way. If she has had problems in the past, then tell her you want to work on it. If she simply doesn't like it or doesn't want to do it, then tell her what you want...and if she doesn't want to, then maybe you'll have to evaluate your relationship.
Hey I think you just need to give it some time she is obviously nervous and self conscious and kind of stuck in this situation. You are doing the right thing by not putting any pressure on her because that will only make it worse. I agree with the person above that you have to talk about it. I think if possible you kind of need to get to the root of the problem, is she afraid, embarrassed and if so what about because I think depending on that will determine the best way to move forward.
Hmmm my gf isnt a "top" per se, she feels weird about it, but we do find ways to "please" me. Sex is important in a relatiosnship, thus your concern. talk about her issues and specifically why she doesnt want to do things to you. Is it just penetration or oral sex she is uncomfortable with or everything. If there are only certain things she doesnt like, do others. On thing that worked for a while with us, was me touching myself while she kissed and caressed me. After while she couldnt just watch and it led to other things. There are so many ways to be intimate. Find what works for the both of you.
