So I'm a freshman in college, and a virgin. And I've been talking to this guy who, I admit, I met online, who really wants to hook up with me. Now I know all of the risks associated with hooking up online, but me and this guy have been texting back and forth for about a month, we have talked on the phone, he says he has no STDs, and we would definitely be using protection if we had sex. What I'm worried about is, every time I'm ready to text asking to hook up, I stop myself because I can't help feeling ashamed about what my family and friends would think. I am only out to a few friends and not at all to family. And aside from the obvious big step of gay sex, I think I would be even more ashamed because it would honestly be pretty kinky. If I did hook up, he would be SUPER dominant (which is a fetish of mine, i love being the submissive one), we might get into some bondage/master/slave stuff, but it would definitely be rough. Obviously, lots of people enjoy doing this, but how do you get over the shame of doing stuff like that?
Which part of it are you ashamed of? The sex with a stranger or the fact it's gay sex? If it's the first then maybe online hookups aren't for you. If it's the second then I really have to ask why. If your a gay male and have truly accepted who you are and you wanna get laid there is no shame in it. Gay guys are most likely have gay sex at some point. And don't worry about the kink part either I'm not into rough housing myself, but if it turns your screws GO FOR IT. Hell I'm an exobitionist myself. Most people would be uncomfortable having sex with someone while his wife watches but I got a semi just typing about it. Basicly it comes down to this: Do you want to live your life and be happy being yourself or do you want to please everybody else around you. At your age pleasing everybody else may sound like a good thing but trust me as you get a bit older you will either be miserable from pretending to be someone else or you can decide to be yourself. I'm just sayin'
You have nothing to be ashamed about, you live your life the way that you want to live it and screw whatever anyone else thinks! If you're happy then that is the only thing that matters.
You shouldn't be afraid or ashamed to do anything. It's YOUR life, no one has the right to judge you. Do what you like as long as you feel safe. Best of luck
Well, your sex life is your own and it is private. Your family will not know and quite frankly, most people (regardless of their orientation or kinks or lack of kinks) would be embarrassed (didn't want to use the word "ashamed," if our family knew. So, your sex life, provided you are taking safety precautions and are of age and doing legal things, is not something your family needs to be involved in.
Umm, I'm going to say something quite different and I hope you think about it rather than immediately discarding the idea. If you are a freshman in college and a virgin, perhaps jumping into a sexual hookup with rough sex is not a good first experience. Although this may be your fetish, what's the hurry in rushing into it? Perhaps you are feeling shame because the sexual experience you are envisioning is outside the context of a friendship or a relationship or you are subconsciously afraid. The strong feelings between two people elevate the sexual experience to wonderful heights. These feelings take time to develop, but the process also builds trust, understanding and the intimate knowledge of what your partner really wants. In my humble opinion, this is a better environment for a first sexual experience. You will have many years to explore your fetish. Why not take it slower and easier and go for quality along the way? It is my opinion that you will fell much more comfortable in proceeding slowly and building experience step by step. Milan
well if its master slave bdsm stuff.i wouldnt feel ashamed but you dont need to jump in the deep end right away .if you feel safe meeting him you can test your limits by just having him tie you up for a while etc then going a bit futher next time .
I am a virgin, and I'd probably want a relaxed, vanilla first time. HOWEVER, if you said "Justin Bieber is in the next room naked and wants you to go tie him up and do some hardcore BDSM shit" HELL YEAH I'd do it in a heartbeat. Don't be ashamed of your desires. That's a common fantasy. "If it makes you happy, then why are you so sad?" Sheryl Crow sang that.
I don't like how he has advertised NO STD's already! Be leery! I would not do bondage your first time out if you are going to bottom. I mean I highly recommend no rough stuff for a while until you are used to getting it as far as intercourse. Play with the wips and chains or shaving or whatever else, but keep the first few times of intercourse gentile or you may end up not liking it which could effect your sex life for years. I guess because of all the abuse I took for years I just don't trust people right off, but I felt creepy about the STD talk so early. I would want to see his paperwork from the Dr. showing his test results before I would believe him. He sounds like he is paving the way for unsafe play to me. You waited this long, what is the rush? I find sex is so much better with a man I have feelings for and your first man is important. As far as the whole shame thing, throw it out the window! It is your life, forget what others think because it is your life! If you are gay/bi forget fighting it, you will never win that battle. Also there is no shame in bondage. I have done it all with previous partners, orgies, swinging, and yes bondage too. I think my current partner loves the fact I am such a freak! We just do it in a vanilla sort of way.... June
