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Friend with Depression

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by pgame311, Oct 17, 2013.

  1. pgame311

    pgame311 Guest

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    So I have this friend that is basically the closest thing I have to a brother at my University. He had to leave sometime in March to deal with some depression (he was drunkenly vocalizing some suicidal contemplations—but not threatening them or acting upon them—after a confrontation with ex). Basically, there are two things going on: one, he is clearly closeted (gay—I won't go into why I know because this is NOT a "I love my best friend post") and trying to live as a heterosexual; and two, and has been prescribed Citalopram.

    He's back and seems better than ever, but I'm not sure what my role should be as a friend who is both bisexual and has experienced what I found out after-the-fact was clinical depression. Since I was never on meds or diagnosed during, I wasn't sure if there was any internal stigma attached to taking medication for it (this society can be more f-ed up about mental illness than even sexuality sometimes), or if I could talk openly with him about it. Also, what should I expect and how bad is it if he's been prescribed the drugs? He was never really "serious" about the suicide stuff and even jokes around about it being melodramatic, but I wasn't there and thankfully some other people called UPenn's health services because you always have to treat it seriously...

    Anyway, I can deal with the LGBTQ stuff, and I only feel any responsibility for that because I think it's directly related to his mental stuff, but idk what to do about the depression... How can I be a good friend and what are some of your experiences with similar situations?
     
  2. bingostring

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    You can be a good friend by ... well, you are already by thinking of him and this post !!!
    You can just get closer to him over time until he trusts you to open up about things a bit more
    You can try and steer the conversation around to his time away from Uni, how he's feeling.
    If you are Bi - you could start to make comments about good looking guys or something that lets him know you are an ally - and to be trusted

    Good for you .. for being a friend to this guy
     
  3. TyRawr

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    I think I would like to reiterate what bingostring said. You are being a good friend right now just by thinking about him. Remember that the 5 stages of loss are denial/isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Sounds like he might be between bargaining and depression to me. There is nothing you can do for him other than be supportive, and let him know how you feel. That is going to mean more in the long term than anything. Dont worry about the meds, Therapists these days suck, and a lot will give meds to anyone, for very little reason at all. Just keep communicating how you feel, and be there for him in whatever way you know how.