Hey, hi, let's have a totally not-awkward conversation about how to have sex after rape. Sound good? Great. I'm a lesbian in my early 20s. I had a couple of really uncalled for sexual encounters in the past 5 years or so. I didn't really think about them when they happened, but now that I found someone I love and I'm fucking for the first time since those Bad Times, I'm getting flashbacks, and sometimes I feel dirty and vulnerable and angry after sex. I don't really feel ready to talk about what happened with my girlfriend or anyone else- honestly, I don't know if I'll ever want to talk about it. I just wanna fuck and be happy and not think about this shit. Suggestions?
I was raped repeatedly over a summer by my cousin when I was 9 years old. Today I have a great boyfriend who I love to pieces, and the key is communication. I had to tell him about what happened, and that that's why I'm not comfortable bottoming just yet. He also knows the things that trigger me, and what he shouldn't do. Talk to your partner about what triggers you and the issues you're having, and above everything else, take it slow and know that it's okay to stop at any time. Again, communication is everything and you can have good sex and a fulfilling sex life, but you need to work with your partner and have her work with you as well.
